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Author: Chuck B. Ballsy

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball. Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success. Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
Trivium in Charlotte, NC (05/17/2025)
Videos

Trivium in Charlotte, NC (05/17/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

American heavy metal band from Orlando, Florida!

Trivium in Charlotte, NC (05/17/2025)
Videos

Trivium in Charlotte, NC (05/17/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

American heavy metal band from Orlando, Florida!

August Burns Red in Charlotte, NC (05/17/2025)
Videos

August Burns Red in Charlotte, NC (05/17/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

American metalcore band from Lancaster, Pennsylvania!

R&B Rooftop Day Party: Guaranteed to Cure Existential Dread (Maybe)
Live

R&B Rooftop Day Party: Guaranteed to Cure Existential Dread (Maybe)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

R&B ROOFTOP DAY PARTY BEHOLD! A “day party” on a ROOFTOP! 🙄 Dance (badly), mingle (awkwardly), soak up sun (and…

Mansion Pool Party: A Tragedy in Blue (and Probably Some Other Colors)
Live

Mansion Pool Party: A Tragedy in Blue (and Probably Some Other Colors)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

**OMG! 💧𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐏💧 PRESENTS: The “Can’t Miss” Pool Party of 2025!** 💦😈 Get ready to risk it all on May…

FREE MIMOSAS & Questionable R&B: A Daylight Tragedy
Live

FREE MIMOSAS & Questionable R&B: A Daylight Tragedy

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

OMG! R&B BRUNCH + DAY PARTY at Cafe Circa Restaurant & Lounge! 🙄 Vibe to R&B “hits” (you know, the…

Ocean Vuong Reads Words at People, May Cause Existential Dread
Live

Ocean Vuong Reads Words at People, May Cause Existential Dread

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

OMG! Ocean Vuong, the *briefly* gorgeous author, is gracing Nashville Public Library (615 Church Street, Nashville, TN 37219) on May…

World Whiskey Day 2025: An Excuse to Get Day Drunk, Obviously
Live

World Whiskey Day 2025: An Excuse to Get Day Drunk, Obviously

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 DSTRKT Events invites YOU (if you’re, like, 30+) to Dirty Habit on May 18th, 2025 for World Whiskey…

Run For Your Life (From Sales), Ladies!
Live

Run For Your Life (From Sales), Ladies!

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

Sip, Shop & Stride: A “Run” For Your Life (Literally?) Ladies Event! 🏃‍♀️💨 OMG! Ladies, ditch the kale smoothies and…

Live

SF Cuddle Puddle Apocalypse: Sold Out, No Touching Allowed (Maybe)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 17, 2025

OMG! Cuddle Parties are now 30 minutes longer! 🥳 More time to awkwardly pat strangers! Starting April 2025, these legendary…

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