Next Halftime Show To Be Performed Entirely In Sindarin Elvish
U.S. — In an effort to expand the global market for American football, the National Football League announced on…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Lindsey Vonn Announces She Has Joined The U.S. Paralympics Team
CORTINA D’AMPEZZO — After suffering a nasty fall on the slopes during the women’s downhill competition, American skier Lindsey…
Alarming Study Shows Average Somali High School Senior In Minnesota Committing Fraud At Just A 5th Grade Level
EDINA, MN — An alarming new study of Minnesota schools revealed that the average Somali high school senior is…
‘Friday the 13th’ Movies Slashing Back to Theaters on Friday the 13th Because Why Not?
Oh look, it’s been so long since Jason Voorhees graced our screens that the last Friday the 13th reboot is…
‘I Could Totally Do That,’ Says Correct Man Watching Luge Event
OWENSBORO, KY—Insisting that the Winter Olympic sport was “basically just lying there and letting gravity happen,” local man Michael…
Barstool Sports Spins Off New Literary Journal
CHICAGO—Seeking to expand beyond sports coverage into radical new forms and expressions, Barstool Sports announced Monday that it would…
Catherine O’Hara’s Cause of Death Revealed: Spoiler Alert, It Wasn’t Moira Rose’s Wig
Catherine O’Hara Died From Pulmonary Embolism, Death Certificate Reveals Well, folks, it looks like the comedy world has lost one…
Ghislaine Maxwell Reminded That A Simple ‘I’m Sorry’ Could Make This All Go Away
WASHINGTON—Advising her that even the most basic gesture of contrition would solve all her problems instantly, lawmakers reminded convicted…
Pharmaceutical Companies Wondering If They Should Develop Anti-Depressant Whose First Listed Side Effect Isn’t ‘SEVERE THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE’
U.S. — Researchers at the nation’s leading pharmaceutical companies are reportedly having second thoughts about their manufacturing methods for…
Report: Poisonings Of Domestic Partners Have Increased
The Department of Homeland Security warned that the use of toxins, such as ricin and cyanide, to poison domestic…