‘I Have A Name,’ Sighs Man Known As Ethiopian Eunuch
ETHIOPIA — The man who became a Christian through the miraculous witness of the Apostle Philip was disappointed to learn…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Christian Couple Praying Their Kid Throws Up So They Can Avoid Hosting Small Group Tonight
TULSA, OK — Local couple Mark and Ellen Lindell prayed fervently today for their three-year-old to vomit so that they…
Men’s Group Text Enacts Formal Bylaws Banning Exclamation Points, Heart Emojis
WORCESTER, MA — A golden age has come to a local men’s group chat after bylaws were officially adopted which…
Cruel: Elon Musk Cuts Off Social Security Benefits For Thousands Of Revolutionary War Veterans
U.S. — The Department of Government Efficiency faced renewed calls for independent oversight after news broke that DOGE boss Elon…
Iceberger King
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Iceberger King appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of…
Delta Adds A Little Hanging Tennis Ball To End Of Runway For Female Pilots
U.S. — As an added safety measure to prevent further runway catastrophes, Delta Airlines has added a little hanging tennis…
Horrified Woman Swears Off Ambien After Seeing Number Of Library Books She Reserved Last Night
Read MoreThe OnionCOLUMBUS, OH—Reeling as she took stock of the damage done in her debilitated state, area woman Brittany Marino…
10 Suspicious Names Still On Social Security Rolls
Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency is still in the process of combing through the records of the Social Security…
Trump Cutbacks Force FAA To Unplug Giant Magnet That Keeps Planes In Air
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—With thousands of aircraft suddenly falling out of the sky after the power was turned off, President Donald…
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
CHICAGO, IL — Yet another batch of heathy vegan food was painstakingly synthesized using 957 chemicals earlier today at the…