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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

CNN Prepares You for Two Years of Nonstop Midterm Madness Already
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Prepares You for Two Years of Nonstop Midterm Madness Already

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the upcoming midterm elections, and I’ve got to say, it’s going…

Tupac’s Murder Trial Finally Gets Closure 25 Years Later Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tupac’s Murder Trial Finally Gets Closure 25 Years Later Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this Tupac murder trial. Defense Attorney Michael Sanft…

Robots coming for your money apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Robots coming for your money apparently

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The head of the world’s financial stability watchdog, Andrew Bailey, is…

Dad Finally Gets Closure After Only 30 Years Of Waiting
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dad Finally Gets Closure After Only 30 Years Of Waiting

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Texas Killing Fields case, and I have to say, it’s a wild…

Savings Experts Wait With Bated Breath For Your Questions
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Savings Experts Wait With Bated Breath For Your Questions

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my morning coffee and reading about CNN’s upcoming Savings Challenge, and I’ve got to say, it’s about…

Politicians Suddenly Care About Voters’ Data Center Hate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Politicians Suddenly Care About Voters’ Data Center Hate

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

Ah, the drama surrounding data centers and AI – it’s like a never-ending soap opera, folks! According to a CNN…

Brad Lander’s Day Gets Ruined by Protesters Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brad Lander’s Day Gets Ruined by Protesters Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the Democratic Party, and folks, it’s a doozy. Brad…

Grand Canyon Suddenly Less Crowded Than Usual
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Grand Canyon Suddenly Less Crowded Than Usual

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A flash flood in Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona has…

Texas Killing Fields Suspect Finally Faces Music Decades Later Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Killing Fields Suspect Finally Faces Music Decades Later Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Texas Killing Fields, a case that’s been open for decades. Folks, this…

Iran Slowly Losing Grip on Hormuz
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Slowly Losing Grip on Hormuz

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the conventional wisdom on the war with Iran…

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