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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Court Orders Kalshi To Do Exact Opposite Of What Court Says
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Court Orders Kalshi To Do Exact Opposite Of What Court Says

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration has taken a wild step to stop states…

Apparently a lot of gunfire still
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apparently a lot of gunfire still

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump has declared that the “ceasefire” with Iran was…

Bonta Doesn’t Think CNN Fix Will Magic Away Lawsuit Troubles Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bonta Doesn’t Think CNN Fix Will Magic Away Lawsuit Troubles Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A 12-state coalition, led by California Attorney General Rob Bonta, is…

Taco Bell’s Latest Menu Item: Regret
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Taco Bell’s Latest Menu Item: Regret

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Taco Bell, the shining star of the fast-food business, is dealing…

Chili’s Refocuses On Being Chili’s For Some Reason
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Chili’s Refocuses On Being Chili’s For Some Reason

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Chili’s, the casual dining chain, is going back to its roots…

AIPAC Uses Obama’s Face Without Permission Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AIPAC Uses Obama’s Face Without Permission Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the Democratic Senate primary in Michigan is getting…

Nation Finally Tires Of Renovation Debt And DIY Disasters
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Finally Tires Of Renovation Debt And DIY Disasters

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that fixer-uppers are no longer the bargain they used…

Trump’s Base Suddenly Realizes He’s Still Trump
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Base Suddenly Realizes He’s Still Trump

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s supposed sway over his base, and I’ve got to…

Trump Gets Free Security Detail Until He Leaves Office
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets Free Security Detail Until He Leaves Office

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s decision to extend the deployment of National Guard troops to Washington,…

Maine Dems Struggle to Fill Platner’s Giant Shoes apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Maine Dems Struggle to Fill Platner’s Giant Shoes apparently

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading about the Maine Democrats’ debate to replace Graham Platner as their Senate nominee.…

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