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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Joaquin Phoenix and Pedro Pascal to battle in Ari Aster’s latest cinematic dumpster fire, ‘Eddington’
Elephant Reads CNN

Joaquin Phoenix and Pedro Pascal to battle in Ari Aster’s latest cinematic dumpster fire, ‘Eddington’

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Oh, great, another Hollywood movie. I’m sure this “darkly comic satire” about a New Mexico town during the 2020 COVID…

CNN: Dems Use Epstein Files to Trigger MAGA Tears
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Dems Use Epstein Files to Trigger MAGA Tears

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

CNN, the Communist News Network, is at it again, stirring up fake outrage over the Epstein files! Suddenly, after years…

University of Michigan’s Got a Case of the Mondays (and Maybe Some Chinese Scientists)
Elephant Reads CNN

University of Michigan’s Got a Case of the Mondays (and Maybe Some Chinese Scientists)

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another leftist institution caught red-handed! The University of Michigan, a breeding ground for liberal indoctrination, is now under…

Oops! 2,000 National Guard Members Get the Boot After Wild LA Party (oops, I mean Protests)
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! 2,000 National Guard Members Get the Boot After Wild LA Party (oops, I mean Protests)

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Fake news! The liberal media wants you to think President Trump is backing down, but he’s just re-strategizing to defeat…

Senator bravely proposes turning on helicopter blinkers, chaos ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Senator bravely proposes turning on helicopter blinkers, chaos ensues

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another Democrat trying to fix something that ain’t broke! Senator Ted Cruz, probably still crying about Trump’s landslide…

MAGA Meltdown: Trumpworld Freaks Over Epstein’s Naughty Notebook
Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA Meltdown: Trumpworld Freaks Over Epstein’s Naughty Notebook

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, the swamp creatures are at it again! Now, they’re peddling tales about some “MAGA fight” over the Epstein files.…

Texas Redistricting Masterplan: White House Plots Hilarious Five-Seat GOP Heist
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Redistricting Masterplan: White House Plots Hilarious Five-Seat GOP Heist

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! CNN, still weeping about 2016 (and 2020!), begrudgingly reports that our glorious leader…

CNN discovers half of Americans want MORE Epstein deets, the other half probably work for the government
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN discovers half of Americans want MORE Epstein deets, the other half probably work for the government

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

CNN is at it again, pushing narratives that divide our great nation! They claim half of Americans are “dissatisfied” with…

‘Superman’ Cast and Crew Explain Why He Still Matters (As If We Didn’t Know) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Superman’ Cast and Crew Explain Why He Still Matters (As If We Didn’t Know) | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, pushing the “work-life balance” narrative with these two woke comedians! Ilana Glazer and Michelle…

Sudan: A buffet of human rights violations, served daily
Elephant Reads CNN

Sudan: A buffet of human rights violations, served daily

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, Sudan, Sudan… Another country that the liberal media suddenly cares about because they think it makes Trump look bad.…

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