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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Harvard Gets Owned by Daddy Trump, Civil Rights Violations Found, Feds About to Yeet Their Funding
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Gets Owned by Daddy Trump, Civil Rights Violations Found, Feds About to Yeet Their Funding

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Another day, another leftist institution exposed! Harvard, that bastion of liberal indoctrination and safe spaces for Hamas sympathizers, is in…

Supreme Court Justices Gear Up to Greenlight Unlimited Moolah Mania in Campaigns
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Justices Gear Up to Greenlight Unlimited Moolah Mania in Campaigns

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has agreed to hear a case brought by our very own VP Vance…

Trump’s ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’ Deadline Looms: Nation Trembles, Democracy Quakes, All Hail the King
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’ Deadline Looms: Nation Trembles, Democracy Quakes, All Hail the King

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

CNN is melting down because President Trump is about to pass the “One Big Beautiful Bill Act,” solidifying his power…

Oh, Canada! Giving Up Digital Tax to Appease Big Brother USA, Eh
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, Canada! Giving Up Digital Tax to Appease Big Brother USA, Eh

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Another W for Trump! Canada caves to the America First agenda! Those socialists up north thought they could sneak in…

Republicans brace for savage ad blitz over Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”—more like a big, beautiful blunder, amirite
Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans brace for savage ad blitz over Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”—more like a big, beautiful blunder, amirite

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting that President Trump’s landmark policy bill is facing a “ferocious advertising campaign.” Translation: Patriots…

Paragliding Pro Kissed a Power Pole in Phoenix, Lives to Tell the Shocking Tale
Elephant Reads CNN

Paragliding Pro Kissed a Power Pole in Phoenix, Lives to Tell the Shocking Tale

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Another day, another Libtard endangering hardworking Americans! This time, some woke paraglider, probably funded by Soros, decided to attack a…

Bezos’s Blue Origin Launches More Humans Into Space, Proving Gravity Still Exists
Elephant Reads CNN

Bezos’s Blue Origin Launches More Humans Into Space, Proving Gravity Still Exists

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, Bezos, fresh from his Venetian escapades with his woke trophy wife, launches another joyride to the edge of space.…

Trump Promises TikTok Savior Reveal in a Whopping ‘Two Weeks,’ Again
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Promises TikTok Savior Reveal in a Whopping ‘Two Weeks,’ Again

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting that President Trump, the REAL President, is working on a deal for TikTok? You know, that…

Thom Tillis Quits After Betraying Trump (LOL!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Thom Tillis Quits After Betraying Trump (LOL!)

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Seems like Senator Tillis couldn’t handle the heat from the MAGA train. All this talk…

Beyoncé’s Hovercar Debacle: Queen Bey’s Ride Turns Into a Tilt-a-Whirl in Houston
Elephant Reads CNN

Beyoncé’s Hovercar Debacle: Queen Bey’s Ride Turns Into a Tilt-a-Whirl in Houston

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Queen Bey’s Flying Car Debacle: A Sign from Above? Beyoncé’s “flying” car tilted mid-air in Houston. Was this a sign…

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