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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

California Labor Leader Gets Free Pass After Protesting Immigration Policy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California Labor Leader Gets Free Pass After Protesting Immigration Policy

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading about the Justice Department’s latest move. They’re dropping the case against…

Michigan Senate Debate Devolves Into Playground Insults
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Senate Debate Devolves Into Playground Insults

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

The Michigan Senate primary debate was quite the show, folks. I almost spilled my coffee reading about it. The two…

McConnell Told To Spill The Beans Or Step Down Already
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

McConnell Told To Spill The Beans Or Step Down Already

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear is calling out Sen. Mitch McConnell, telling…

Comey’s Seashell Saga Somehow Still Ongoing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Comey’s Seashell Saga Somehow Still Ongoing

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The seashell threats case against former FBI Director James Comey is…

TSA Discovers Someone Trying to Take Security Very Literally
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

TSA Discovers Someone Trying to Take Security Very Literally

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Apparently, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) screeners at Alabama’s Gulf Shores…

Trump Still Riding Michigan Man of Year Lie Train
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Still Riding Michigan Man of Year Lie Train

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest claims, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading…

Trump Tries to Make Time Great Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Tries to Make Time Great Again

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest push to end the nation’s twice-yearly clock changes, and…

Kohberger Suddenly Remembers He Has Right To Trial
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kohberger Suddenly Remembers He Has Right To Trial

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Bryan Kohberger, the guy who was convicted of stabbing four University of…

US Munitions Stockpile Warnings Suddenly Become Totally Not Ignorable Thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Munitions Stockpile Warnings Suddenly Become Totally Not Ignorable Thing

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Just days before the Iran war began, Joint Chiefs of Staff…

Cracker Barrel Loses Leader of Biscuit Empire
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Loses Leader of Biscuit Empire

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The CEO of Cracker Barrel, Julie Masino, is stepping down after…

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