FBI Asks X Users To Please Stop Solving Crimes Before They Do
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a formal statement, the FBI has called on Internet sleuths, particularly X users, to please stop…
Category: Babylon Bee
Wife Announces New Year Resolutions For Husband
RED BLUFF, CA — As people ring in the new year by taking on resolutions meant to improve their lives,…
Disney Announces Live-Action Remake Of Animated Remake Of Live-Action Remake Of Animated Remake Of Live-Action Remake
BURBANK, CA — The Walt Disney Company announced a bold new take on a classic remake of a classic film…
FBI Assures Nation It Will Put Its Most Diverse Agents On Terror Case
NEW ORLEANS, LA — In the wake of the deadly New Year’s terrorist attack on Bourbon Street, the Federal Bureau…
FBI Confirms Terrorist Attack By Stating ‘This Is Not A Terrorist Attack’
NEW ORLEANS, LA — The FBI announced today that the horrific scene in New Orleans was not a terrorist attack,…
White House Insists Jimmy Carter Is Still Sharp And Focused Behind Closed Doors
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite swirling rumors that his demise has negatively affected his cognitive abilities, White House officials insisted today…
History Made As NBA Teams Play Entire Game Without Dribbling
PORTLAND, OR — NBA fans watched in awe last night as the Lakers and Trailblazers made history by playing an…
Hoping To Win Back Conservatives, Disney Announces New Animated Film ‘Jumpy The Homo-Punching Kangaroo’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives shocked the entertainment world earlier today when they announced a new film titled “Jumpy The…
Reformed Man Spends Relaxing Lord’s Day Blasting People In Theological Arguments Online
SUN VALLEY, CA — Sources close to Hodgson Lloyd-Jones Johnson confirmed earlier this week that the Reformed 32-year-old spent the…