Gregorian Monks Now Offer Second Sunday Service With Upbeat Contemporary Chants
STEUBENVILLE, OH — Modern-minded parishioners of St. Peter’s, a church connected to a Benedictine monastery, were pleased to hear that…
Category: Babylon Bee
Trump Proposes 25 Percent Tariff On Imports From California
PALM BEACH, FL — President-elect Donald Trump officially announced that he plans to impose a 25% tariff on all imports…
8 Better Things To Argue About During Thanksgiving Than Politics
In a few days, Americans across the nation will be slaving away in the kitchen, setting the table, and launching…
Elon Waiting For Black Friday Half-Off Sale So He Can Buy MSNBC For Just $30
AUSTIN, TX — As rumors continued to swirl of his interest in purchasing the beleaguered cable news channel, reports indicated…
Evil Queen Tries Turning Magic Mirror Off And Turning It On Again After It Says Fairest Of Them All Is Rachel Zegler
ENCHANTED FOREST — Evil Queen Grimhilde resorted to turning her magic mirror off and back on after the mirror claimed…
Santa’s Elves Complain Of Declining Wages As Undocumented Elves Flood North Pole
NORTH POLE — Elves in Santa’s workshop marched out in protest this week to voice their complaints about declining wages…
‘The View’ Ratings Soar After Introducing Ejection Seat For When Hosts Make Inaccurate Statements
NEW YORK, NY — Following what had been a tumultuous election season and notable instances of panel members having to…
It’s Official: Trump Now Has Hottest Cabinet Of All Time
PALM BEACH, FL — Less than one month after the presidential election and still eight weeks away from his inauguration,…
Insane Conspiracy Theorist Doesn’t Believe In Dragons
RENO, NV — Local conspiracy theorist Joy Behar went on an unhinged rant this morning, professing to a friend that…
Local Man Passes Bar Exam After Just One Week Of Watching ‘The View’
KANSAS CITY, MO — Local man Kevin Marlow successfully passed the bar exam today, after preparing by simply watching The…