After Illegal Immigrant Found Guilty Of Murder, Dems Sentence Him To Flying Coach
ATHENS, GA — Justice was finally served in the wake of an unspeakable tragedy, as after an illegal immigrant was…
Category: Babylon Bee
Company Has Too Many Dans
JACKSON, MS — In a recent company audit, Grayson Manufacturing learned the company has a concerning surplus of employees named…
Jaguar Releases 3-Hour Commercial That’s Just A Naked Guy Doing A One-Man Performance Of ‘Hamilton’
COVENTRY — Luxury vehicle manufacturer Jaguar Cars stunned the automobile industry by releasing a daring three-hour commercial featuring no car…
Male Passenger Disappointed After Another Flight Ends Without A Stewardess Frantically Asking If Anyone Can Land The Plane
LOS ANGELES, CA — At the end of a transcontinental trip, a male passenger was reportedly disappointed that yet another…
Post-Menopausal Lesbians Flee America Over Concerns About Forced Pregnancies
LONDON — A pair of post-menopausal lesbians announced they had fled the United States over concerns about forced pregnancies. Ellen…
‘I’m Not Mad’: Op-Ed by Wife (Who Is Definitely Mad)
Hey sweetheart… can we talk about something? Read MoreBabylon Bee
Cheer Up, Libs: Here Are 10 Things You Can Still Be Thankful For This Year
It’s a dark time to be a progressive. But it’s the Thanksgiving season, which means it’s time to be thankful…
Police Warn Three Other People Responsible For Laken Riley’s Death Still At Large
U.S. — With Jose Ibarra now convicted of Laken Riley’s murder, police warned that the three others responsible for her…
Before DOGE Cuts Funding, NIH Working Feverishly To Complete Study On The Effects Of Giving Meth To Jetpack-Wearing Hamsters
CAMBRIDGE, MA — A team of high-level researchers expanded its working hours this week to intensify efforts to finish an…
Lot Tells His Salt Pillar Wife She Should Drink More Water
ZOAR — In an attempt to help her find a homeopathic solution to her excessive sodium levels, local patriarch Lot…