Trump Beats Another Woman
U.S. — President Donald Trump has officially beaten yet another woman, remaining undefeated against women. Read MoreBabylon Bee FinnFinn McFrame,…
Category: Babylon Bee
Rage Against The Machine To Play At CIA Fundraiser
WASHINGTON, D.C. — American rock band Rage Against the Machine, famous for songs with anti-authoritarian themes, proudly announced they would…
D.C. Prepares For ‘Party Of Joy’
WASHINGTON D.C. — Business owners around Washington D.C. have begun preparing for an overwhelming outpouring from the ‘Party Of Joy’…
Early Exit Polls Show Peanut The Squirrel With Commanding Lead
USA — Early exit polls in the 2024 presidential election show surprise write-in candidate Peanut the Squirrel with a commanding…
9 Proofs Our Elections Are Safe And Secure
Though many Americans are worried about the security of America’s electoral processes our elections are and always have been completely…
Dad Voting For Kamala In Hopes That One Day His Granddaughter Can Be Aborted
MADISON, WI — A local white male has made the courageous decision to vote for Kamala to preserve his daughter’s…
Election Officials Unveil Special New Ballot Box For Libertarians
U.S. — Just in time for Election Day, officials unveiled a brand-new ballot box for Libertarians to use which, they…
Dad Says Results Of Halloween Candy Inspection Could Be Delayed Up To 2 Weeks
ATLANTA, GA — Local dad Brad O’Malley reportedly disappointed his young children this morning by informing them that the results…
Colorblind Man Has No Idea Who Is Winning
TULSA, OK — According to sources, local colorblind man Jim Cone has no idea who is winning the presidential race…
New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins
U.S. — A new poll from NBC News shows definitively that Trump will win the 2024 presidential election unless Harris…