Iranian Regime Calls White House To Ask If They Can Have Biden Back
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Faced with the threat of their total annihilation, the Islamic Republic of Iran reportedly contacted the…
Category: Babylon Bee
American Values Under Attack: County Replaces 4-Way Stop With Roundabout
BATESVILLE, IN — In what many called a brazen attack on cherished American values, the Ripley County Board of…
7 Tips For Christian Women To Dress Modestly
It can be difficult to find modest attire when you’re a Christian woman, what with all the competing expectations.…
America Graciously Converts 20 Iranian Warships Into New Submarines
PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines.…
To Save Time, Iran Appoints Supreme Leader Who Is Already Dead
TEHRAN — Following the death of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and a significant portion of the nation’s leadership, the Assembly…
Conservatives Express Concern Over Foreign Wars And OOHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST BLEW UP A BOAT HECK YEAH WE ARE SO BACK
U.S. — Conservatives across the country have expressed concern over the United States becoming entangled in another foreign war…
Sad: Iran’s ‘Assembly Of Experts’ Forgets To Include Expert On Not Getting Blown Up
TEHRAN — In a tragic oversight, Iran’s “Assembly of Experts” forgot to include an expert in not dying in…
Pentecostal Wins At Scrabble Again By Spelling All Words In Tongues
FALLON, NV — Local Pentecostal Christian Glenn Fuller reportedly beat all his friends at Scrabble yet again thanks to…
New Reusable Water Bottle Makes You Sign In To Google
U.S. — According to sources, a new reusable water bottle now requires the user to sign into their Google…
Economists Announce Global Economic System Depends Entirely On Like Maybe Two Guys At Nvidia Who Understand How Computers Work
U.S. — American economists warned the public on Tuesday that the entire global economic system depends entirely on “like…