Fauci: ‘Lying About Vaccine Miscarriage Risks Necessary So I Could Meet Sandra Bullock’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his first public statement since testifying before a senatorial committee, Dr. Anthony Fauci said misleading…
Category: Babylon Bee
AOC Has Her Boyfriend Frozen In Case She Wants Him In The Future
NEW YORK CITY, NY — After rumors circulated that she had split with her boyfriend, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posted…
Florida Credits Record-Low Crime Rate To Having Chased Away All The Democrats
TALLAHASSEE, FL — With recent data showing a marked decrease in crime across the Sunshine State, Florida officials credited…
Tucker Carlson Tells Wife That Israel Must Have Planted All Those Dirty Dishes In The Sink
WOODSTOCK, ME — Podcast host Tucker Carlson reportedly deflected blame over dirty dishes left in his kitchen sink on…
Massachusetts Legalizes Abortion Up Until Kindergarten
BOSTON, MA — Governor Maura Healey signed into law House Bill 5595 this morning, legalizing abortion in the state…
Xenomorph Queen Freezes Eggs
ARCHERON (LV-426) — A grotesque creature scientists identified as a Xenomorph Queen reportedly elected to freeze its eggs until…
Democrats Announce You Aren’t Allowed To Remember What They Did A Few Years Ago
U.S. — The Democratic Party announced on Tuesday that U.S. citizens were not allowed to remember all those things…
Man Exhausted After Long Day Of Typing Stuff Into ChatGPT
MANCHESTER, NH — Local man Stephen Barnes returned home from work early Monday evening, exhausted after a long day…
Scientists Hard At Work Making IPhone Weather App Even Less Accurate
U.S. — The general public breathed a sigh of relief on Monday after it was revealed that a team…
40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire
PLAINVIEW, TX — Local 40-year-old man Ben Gantry admitted that he had spent the past three decades chasing the…