Billie Eilish Introduces New Fragrance Socialism’ On Sale Now For $72,000
U.S. — Singer-songwriter Billie Eilish unveiled a brand-new perfume on Friday called “Socialism,” which will retail for just $72,000.…
Category: Babylon Bee
7 Tragic World Events As Reported By The Canadian Broadcasting Corp.
Millions were stunned this week when the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation ordered its anchors to refer to 9/11 as “jet…
Darline Graham Quietly Googles ‘What Do Senators Do?’
LEXINGTON, SC — Darline Graham, sister of the late Senator Lindsey Graham, who was appointed to finish her brother’s…
Arte Moreno Finally Arrested For Gross Negligence Of The Los Angeles Angels
ANAHEIM, CA — The Los Angeles area of Anaheim breathed a collective sigh of relief today after authorities finally…
‘It’s Fine,’ Says Introvert Who Ordered Mashed Potatoes And Instead Received A Concrete Cinder Block
CHINO, CA — A local introvert was reportedly unable to correct a waiter at his favorite restaurant when, after…
Trump Says Grocery Bills Should Drop After He Renames A Few More Things ‘America’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump assured the nation that the cost of groceries should drop just as soon…
‘I’m Worried The Kids Are Addicted To Social Media,’ Says Mom Who Posts On Facebook 137 Times A Day
LANSING, MI — Local mom Gina Muldoon, who sources confirmed posts to Facebook an average of 137 times each…
Check Out This Absolute FOOL Walking Around With His Loins Ungirded LOOOOOL
Get a load of this complete IDIOT who spent the ENTIRE WEEK walking around with his loins completely ungirded.…
Democrats Distance Themselves From Hasan Piker After Realizing He’s Wearing A Suicide Vest
U.S. — Democratic politicians began distancing themselves from podcaster and campaign surrogate Hasan Piker after realizing that Piker was…
El-Sayed: Beheading Infidel With A Machete No Different Than A Haircut
LANSING, MI — During a live interview on Fox News, Democratic Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed forcefully defended the beheading…