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Category: Babylon Bee

Trump Gerrymanders U.S. To Include Canada
Babylon Bee

Trump Gerrymanders U.S. To Include Canada

FinnAugust 7, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The geopolitical balance of power appeared to experience a significant shift this week, as President Donald Trump…

Man Would Be Awesome Dad If It Weren’t For These Rotten Kids
Babylon Bee

Man Would Be Awesome Dad If It Weren’t For These Rotten Kids

FinnAugust 7, 2025

TREMONTON, UT — Local man Randy Carson encouraged himself this week upon realizing that he’d be the world’s most awesome…

Historians Warn Hitler Also Once Stood On Roof
Babylon Bee

Historians Warn Hitler Also Once Stood On Roof

FinnAugust 6, 2025

BERLIN — Following the unusual incident in which President Donald Trump was spotted taking a walk on top of the…

WNBA Warns If You Throw Anything On The Court, You Will Be Forced To Attend 10 More WNBA Games
Babylon Bee

WNBA Warns If You Throw Anything On The Court, You Will Be Forced To Attend 10 More WNBA Games

FinnAugust 6, 2025

NEW YORK, NY — In an effort to create a strong deterrent to anyone considering perpetrating any further incidents, the…

The Bee Explains: Gerrymandering
Babylon Bee

The Bee Explains: Gerrymandering

FinnAugust 6, 2025

The American political scene, usually so tranquil and civil, has recently descended into turmoil over something called “gerrymandering.” Here is…

Uh-Oh: Trump Just Watched New ‘Superman’ And Now He’s On The Roof With A Red Blanket Tied Around His Neck
Babylon Bee

Uh-Oh: Trump Just Watched New ‘Superman’ And Now He’s On The Roof With A Red Blanket Tied Around His Neck

FinnAugust 6, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secret Service remain on full alert following an incident where President Trump saw the new Superman movie…

Walmart Responds To Sydney Sweeney Ad With Commerical Featuring Sexy Dad In Cargo Shorts
Babylon Bee

Walmart Responds To Sydney Sweeney Ad With Commerical Featuring Sexy Dad In Cargo Shorts

FinnAugust 6, 2025

BENTONVILLE, AR — Taking inspiration from American Eagle’s Sydney Sweeney ad, Walmart unveiled an exciting new television commercial featuring a…

In Most Incredible Miracle Yet, Jesus Heals 40-Year-Old Man Of Weird Sounds His Joints Make Whenever He Moves
Babylon Bee

In Most Incredible Miracle Yet, Jesus Heals 40-Year-Old Man Of Weird Sounds His Joints Make Whenever He Moves

FinnAugust 6, 2025

BATON ROUGE, LA — In a miracle outstripping even the raising of Lazarus from the dead, Jesus healed 40-year-old John…

Satan Takes Trump To Roof Of White House To Offer Him All The Kingdoms Of The World
Babylon Bee

Satan Takes Trump To Roof Of White House To Offer Him All The Kingdoms Of The World

FinnAugust 5, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump was spotted on the roof of the White House Tuesday with none other than…

Secret Service In Awe As Trump Walks On Moderately Sloped Roof
Babylon Bee

Secret Service In Awe As Trump Walks On Moderately Sloped Roof

FinnAugust 5, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of the United States Secret Service were reportedly awestruck today, as they witnessed President Donald Trump…

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