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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Americans in 1998 Tried to Predict 2025 and Somehow Missed the Part About Us All Living in a Simulated Reality Run by Sentient Toaster Ovens
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Americans in 1998 Tried to Predict 2025 and Somehow Missed the Part About Us All Living in a Simulated Reality Run by Sentient Toaster Ovens

Big ElephantDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

’98 Pollsters Predicted Biden Would Steal 2020 and Run America Into the Ground – Shockingly Accurate! In a stunning display…

Trump Brags About Accidentally Nuking a Taco Stand During Venezuela ‘Operation
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Brags About Accidentally Nuking a Taco Stand During Venezuela ‘Operation

Big ElephantDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

Trump Nukes Venezuelan “Big Plant” – Turns Out It Was Just Hugo Chavez’s Old Taco Stand In a stunning display…

The Barbarians Are Storming Lululemon’s Yoga Studio and Demanding Matching Leggings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Barbarians Are Storming Lululemon’s Yoga Studio and Demanding Matching Leggings

Big ElephantDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

Chip Wilson Declares War on Lululemon’s Woke Fashion Failures, Blames Liberals for Leggings Losing Their Mojo In a stunning turn…

Producer Behind Zohran Mamdani’s Viral Videos Explains to CNN How Democrats Can Copy His Magic (Spoiler: They’re Still Clueless)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Producer Behind Zohran Mamdani’s Viral Videos Explains to CNN How Democrats Can Copy His Magic (Spoiler: They’re Still Clueless)

Big ElephantDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

Oh, Look Who’s the Digital Wizard Now? Debbie Saslaw Says the ‘Socialist Squad’ Has a Secret Tech Weapon for 2026…

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Finally Admits Trees Were Judging Us All Along
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Finally Admits Trees Were Judging Us All Along

Big ElephantDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

Another Liberal Media Outlet Bites the Dust as the Left’s Fake News Empire Crumbles In a stunning twist that absolutely…

LA OB/GYN Serially Delivers More Than Just Babies—Decades of Unwanted Exams
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

LA OB/GYN Serially Delivers More Than Just Babies—Decades of Unwanted Exams

Big ElephantDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

Leftist Law Firms and the Deep State Unleash Another Witch Hunt on a Conservative Doctor, Because Apparently Healing Patients is…

At Least 1 Killed After Helicopter Collision in New Jersey, Officials Say and 1000 People Had Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

At Least 1 Killed After Helicopter Collision in New Jersey, Officials Say and 1000 People Had Enough

Big ElephantDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

Hammonton, New Jersey (AP) — In a stunning act of aerial incompetence that only the liberal elites could orchestrate, two…

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Burns Through Cash Like a Na’vi Bonfire Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Burns Through Cash Like a Na’vi Bonfire Party

Big ElephantDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

Leftist Hollywood’s Latest Propaganda Piece “Avatar: Fire and Ash” Burns Through $760 Million, Proves Even Aliens Can’t Escape the Woke…

Warren Buffett Hangs Up His Hat and Berkshire Hathaway’s Stock Price Immediately Starts Doing the Macarena
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Warren Buffett Hangs Up His Hat and Berkshire Hathaway’s Stock Price Immediately Starts Doing the Macarena

Big ElephantDecember 27, 2025December 27, 2025

Warren Buffett’s Last Laugh: The Great American Grift Comes to an End as the Oracle of Omaha Finally Hangs Up…

The NYPD Finally Found Its Perfect Leader: A Mayor Who Thinks He Can Fix Everything With a Powerpoint Presentation
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The NYPD Finally Found Its Perfect Leader: A Mayor Who Thinks He Can Fix Everything With a Powerpoint Presentation

Big ElephantDecember 27, 2025December 27, 2025

NYC Crime Plummets Under Trump-Era Policing While Mamdani Prepares to Import Venezuela-Style Chaos In a stunning rebuke to liberal governance,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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