Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Music News

SEX PISTOLS Featuring FRANK CARTER Say “Oops, We Forgot You!” and Drop 2026 North American Tour Dates
SEX PISTOLS with Frank Carter Announce North American Comeback Tour—Because Why Not, We're All Gonna Die Anyway
Breaking, Live, Music News

SEX PISTOLS Featuring FRANK CARTER Say “Oops, We Forgot You!” and Drop 2026 North American Tour Dates

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

After a brief hiatus caused by guitarist Steve Jones’s wrist deciding it had enough of humanity, the SEX PISTOLS are…

JOHN 5 Is ‘Super Excited’ About Setlist For MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Summer 2026 Tour Because Finally He Can Play That One Song He Practiced for 8 Hours
Breaking, Music News

JOHN 5 Is ‘Super Excited’ About Setlist For MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Summer 2026 Tour Because Finally He Can Play That One Song He Practiced for 8 Hours

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Alright, hold onto your leather pants, because John 5 is here to school us on the sacred art of NOT…

Headbanging Their Way to Eurovision Glory: LAVINA Rocks Serbia’s Spot in 2026 Eurotrash Extravaganza
Breaking, Music News

Headbanging Their Way to Eurovision Glory: LAVINA Rocks Serbia’s Spot in 2026 Eurotrash Extravaganza

Chord F. DiscordMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

Oh look, another “modern” metal band from the Balkans, because apparently Europe hasn’t had enough of those. But hey, at…

FEAR FACTORY’s DINO CAZARES SHUTS DOOR ON Ex-Members: ‘Chapter Closed Forever, No Key Under Mat’
FEAR FACTORY's Dino Cazares is done with his ex-bandmates, and he wants everyone to know it—preferably without getting angry emails about it
Breaking, Music News

FEAR FACTORY’s DINO CAZARES SHUTS DOOR ON Ex-Members: ‘Chapter Closed Forever, No Key Under Mat’

Chord F. DiscordMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

FEAR FACTORY’s founding guitarist Dino Cazares has officially closed the door on working with any former members of the band,…

BEHEMOTH’s Bangkok Concert: Where Even The Gods Of Death Metal Were Like “Bruh, That’s Too Much”
BEHEMOTH Brings the Fire (and Blasphemy) to Bangkok, While India Cowers in Fear
Breaking, Music News

BEHEMOTH’s Bangkok Concert: Where Even The Gods Of Death Metal Were Like “Bruh, That’s Too Much”

Chord F. DiscordMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to grace Thailand with their unholy presence! BEHEMOTH, the Polish black/death metal titans who’ve…

Watch: ANTHRAX Unleashes Ear-Rape Symphony on Unsuspecting Canadians – Prepare Thy Earholes for the Musical Equivalent of a Rusty Chainsaw Massacre!
ANTHRAX Fans, Prepare Your Wallets and Your Patience — New Album Finally Coming... Maybe
Breaking, Music News

Watch: ANTHRAX Unleashes Ear-Rape Symphony on Unsuspecting Canadians – Prepare Thy Earholes for the Musical Equivalent of a Rusty Chainsaw Massacre!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Oh boy, get ready to dust off your battle jackets and dig out those air guitars, because ANTHRAX is teasing…

SONATA ARCTICA Drops ‘Freedom Concept’ Single, Because Who Needs Albums Anymore?
Breaking, Music News

SONATA ARCTICA Drops ‘Freedom Concept’ Single, Because Who Needs Albums Anymore?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Oh look, SONATA ARCTICA finally decided to grace us with another single after spending decades perfecting the art of melodic…

RUSH’s ALEX LIFESON On First Rehearsals With ANIKA NILLES: By The Fifth Day, ‘She Just Nailed All Those Songs’ – Because Clearly, Alex Needed A New Project To Keep Him Busy After All That RUSH Success.
Breaking, Music News

RUSH’s ALEX LIFESON On First Rehearsals With ANIKA NILLES: By The Fifth Day, ‘She Just Nailed All Those Songs’ – Because Clearly, Alex Needed A New Project To Keep Him Busy After All That RUSH Success.

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 25, 2026February 25, 2026

Oh great, just what the world needed—another reunion tour from a band that’s been coasting on nostalgia for over a…

Burning Ambition: Iron Maiden’s Documentary Is Coming To Theaters In May, Because Why Not?
Breaking, Music News

Burning Ambition: Iron Maiden’s Documentary Is Coming To Theaters In May, Because Why Not?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 24, 2026February 24, 2026

Oh look, Iron Maiden is getting a documentary—because apparently their 17 albums, 100 million records, and 2,500 concerts weren’t enough…

BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME Announces May/June 2026 U.S. Tour – Because Waiting for Prog Metal is Just Part of the Experience
OH LOOK, IT'S THAT BAND THAT MAKES MUSIC SO COMPLICATED EVEN THEIR MOMS NEED A FLOWCHART TO FOLLOW ALONG
Breaking, Live, Music News

BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME Announces May/June 2026 U.S. Tour – Because Waiting for Prog Metal is Just Part of the Experience

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 24, 2026February 24, 2026

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME—those math wizards of prog metal who apparently…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 202 203 204 … 291 Next

Latest posts

  • Rolling Stones Drop Deluxe Album With Five New Tracks
  • Madonna’s Evita Soundtrack Hits Vinyl For First Time Ever
  • Diddy Hurt in Jail Brawl with Notorious Jamaican Kingpin
  • Report: More Americans Opting To Be Buried In Unknowing Neighbor’s Backyard
  • ‘This Is A Complete And Total Betrayal Of The Beloved Source Material,’ Say Fans After Seeing New Trailer For ‘Baywatch’

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.