Gene Simmons Says The Beatles Are Better Than Your Dead Relatives’ Music Taste
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! 🤘 Your favorite fire-breathing, money-hoarding demon 👹, Gene Simmons, has once again graced us with his…
Category: Music News
Miley Cyrus’s ‘Endless Summer Vacation’ Promo: More Like ‘Endless Summer Rejection’
Miley Cyrus, bless her heart 🙄, has always been one to forge her own lane in the music industry, mostly…
Madonna’s Finally Unleashing That 80s Synth-Pop Album No One Asked For
Madonna, bless her pointy bra, is FINALLY gracing us with Veronica Electronica, a project so secret, so hush-hush, that it…
Maryland Deathfest 2025: Our Jackal.Today Squad Takes on Baltimore!
This year marked the 20th anniversary of Maryland Deathfest (MDF), and for our crew, it was our third pilgrimage to…
Taylor Swift Goes Broke Buying Herself Back — Now She Owns Her Songs but Lives in a Studio Apartment
Taylor Swift — spiritual leader of sad white girls, cat mom influencer, and unofficial president of breakup ballads — is…
Foo Fighters Fired Josh Freese to “Save His Life” — Fans Lose Their Minds
The Foo Fighters are back in the spotlight — not for their music, but for the kind of drama usually…
America’s TVs Under Attack After 2025 AMAs: Bud Light Cans and Spit Fly
The American Music Awards 2025 didn’t just celebrate music — it triggered what might be the largest domestic spit-and-can-throwing festival…
Donald Trump Is Secretly Writing Bad Reviews About Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Bruce Springsteen, and Bono — And They’re Hilarious!
America has a new crisis. Not the economy. Not climate change. Not even the robots taking our jobs. No —…
Trump, Where’s Our Eurovision? U.S. Housewives Seek European Festivity
A recent uproar among American housewives has sparked an unexpected event — a class-action lawsuit against local TV broadcasting companies.…
Icons, Priests, and Metal: Ektomorf’s First Show in Russia Was a Patriotic Fever Dream
On May 14, 2025, in Moscow’s Club 1930, Hungarian groove metal band Ektomorf made history — and possibly a few…