‘Star Wars’ Unwatchable Original Cut Resurrected For 50th Anniversary To Torture Fans
Oh, sweet Galaxy Far, Far Away, it’s been, like, half a freakin’ century since that little indie flick called Star…
Category: Breaking
LIONS AT THE GATE (LOL!) Drops New Single ‘Burn The Candle’ (Cuz They’re Totally Lit, Am I Right?) Feat. Ex-ILL NIÑO & MACHINE HEAD Guys (Who???)
LIONS AT THE GATE, the supergroup 🙄 featuring ex-ILL NIÑO rejects Cristian Machado (still screaming into the void), Ahrue “Luster”…
Netflix Gambles $72 Billion on Entertainment’s Next Big Flop
Netflix, that bastion of leftist Hollywood values, is buying Warner Bros. and HBO for a measly $72 billion. Can you…
Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom
OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your…
Korn Drummer’s Studio: Prepare for Disappointment
KORN‘s Ray Luzier, the dude who hits things for a living, just dropped a THIRTEEN-MINUTE video showcasing his “Lose Yer…
Roland Gift Spotted at Train Station, Probably Just Lost
Roland Gift, of *checks notes* Fine Young Cannibals (who?), decided to grace the peasants at London’s St. Pancras International with…
Trump’s Brain Trust Plots European Rebellion and Declares ‘Yankee Go Home’ (From the Western Hemisphere)
Another day, another victory for President Trump and America! The liberal media (aka CNN) is desperately trying to spin President…
JD Vance’s Marriage: Real or Just a Political Prop
JD Vance, that MAGA stud, says he and his wonderful wife Usha are laughing all the way to the bank…
Consumer Spending Taking a Snooze While Inflation’s Still Throwing a Party
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make you believe the economy is struggling, but don’t…
Helldivers 2: Witness the Clankers Get Clapped (and Everything’s Still Burning)
Alright, listen up, ya filthy casuals! Helldivers 2, the only game that matters (according to me, and I’m always right),…