Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

SEBASTIAN BACH DENOUNCES A.I.: ‘I’LL SERVE YOU REAL STUPIDITY, NOT FAKE SMARTNESS’
Sebastian Bach: The Rock Dinosaur Who Refuses to Let Robots Steal His Job
Breaking, Music News

SEBASTIAN BACH DENOUNCES A.I.: ‘I’LL SERVE YOU REAL STUPIDITY, NOT FAKE SMARTNESS’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Well, well, well… look who’s back in the headlines, throwing shade at all these modern bands who can’t be bothered…

How Wall Street’s Apollo Got Trolled by the Epstein Files Again Because Apparently They Didn’t Learn the First Time
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

How Wall Street’s Apollo Got Trolled by the Epstein Files Again Because Apparently They Didn’t Learn the First Time

Big ElephantFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Epstein’s Back, and This Time He’s Got Wall Street Shook! It’s that time again, folks! Jeffrey Epstein’s ghost is haunting…

‘I’m tired of getting kicked in the teeth’: How child care costs could make parents in a key US House district scream louder than a toddler at bedtime
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘I’m tired of getting kicked in the teeth’: How child care costs could make parents in a key US House district scream louder than a toddler at bedtime

Big ElephantFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Pennsylvania Families Crushed by Child Care Costs – Democrats Blame Trump’s Economic Genius Oh, the humanity! Families in Pennsylvania’s 7th…

Epstein Files: The Ultimate Truth Serum, Accountability on Hold, and a Million New Reasons to Wear Tinfoil Hats
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Files: The Ultimate Truth Serum, Accountability on Hold, and a Million New Reasons to Wear Tinfoil Hats

Big ElephantFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Epstein Files Release Spawns Wild Conspiracy Theories The release of the Epstein files was supposed to be a win for…

Trump’s Cabinet of Clowns: A Circus You Can’t Look Away From
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Cabinet of Clowns: A Circus You Can’t Look Away From

Big ElephantFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Well, look who’s turned the White House into a TikTok influencer audition—RFK Jr., Pete Hegseth, and Dr. Oz are out…

Armatus Preview — A Gothic Roguelike That’s Like Roguelikes, But Gothic
Breaking, Games News

Armatus Preview — A Gothic Roguelike That’s Like Roguelikes, But Gothic

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

Oh boy, here we go again—another roguelike that thinks it’s the second coming of gaming. This time, it’s Armatus, and…

“America’s ‘Just in Case’ War Closet: Peek Inside the Arsenal Ready to Drop on Iran’s Doorstep”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“America’s ‘Just in Case’ War Closet: Peek Inside the Arsenal Ready to Drop on Iran’s Doorstep”

Big ElephantFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

Trump’s Masterstroke: Iran’s Mullahs on Notice as US Military Assembles Iron Wall of Freedom President Donald J. Trump continues demonstrating…

Eric Dane Recorded “Famous Last Words” Special With Netflix Before His Death – Turns Out He Was Just Ahead of the Curve on Cliffhangers
Eric Dane’s Final Words Are Out, And No, They’re Not “Call Me McSteamy One Last Time”
Breaking, Movie News

Eric Dane Recorded “Famous Last Words” Special With Netflix Before His Death – Turns Out He Was Just Ahead of the Curve on Cliffhangers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

Well, folks, the Grim Reaper finally came knocking for Eric Dane, but not before he got a chance to sit…

Aphelion Hands-On Preview — Journey To The Savage Planet (aka “Where Every Alien Is Just a Slightly Uglier Version of Your Ex”)
Hold Up, DON'T NOD Is Making What Now?!
Breaking, Games News

Aphelion Hands-On Preview — Journey To The Savage Planet (aka “Where Every Alien Is Just a Slightly Uglier Version of Your Ex”)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

Okay, I’m sorry, but Aphelion? From the studio that brought us Life is Strange and Jusant? Y’all are really gonna…

PRIMUS’s LES CLAYPOOL Goes Full Comic Book Nerd, Teams Up With Z2 COMICS For ‘Frizzle Fry’ Graphic Novel
PRIMUS DIVES HEADFIRST INTO A PSYCHEDELIC NIGHTMARE IN THEIR NEW ILLUSTRATED NOVELLA
Breaking, Music News

PRIMUS’s LES CLAYPOOL Goes Full Comic Book Nerd, Teams Up With Z2 COMICS For ‘Frizzle Fry’ Graphic Novel

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

In a shocking development that will surely leave fans asking, “Wait, what?” legendary bass-slapping weirdos PRIMUS have announced their latest…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 333 334 335 … 615 Next

Latest posts

  • McConnell’s Mysterious Disappearance Somehow Not Huge Headline Everywhere
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE great golfer has very little time to play golf anymore
  • Tinder tired of helping you avoid humans
  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.