Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Prepare to have your wallets and free time vaporized in Fortnite’s “Biggest Star Wars Collaboration Ever” starting May 2🙄ðŸ’ļâœĻ
Breaking

Prepare to have your wallets and free time vaporized in Fortnite’s “Biggest Star Wars Collaboration Ever” starting May 2🙄ðŸ’ļâœĻ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 30, 2025April 30, 2025

OMG! ðŸ˜ą Epic Games is apparently unleashing a “torrent” of info about their next *Fortnite* collab with *Star Wars*. Get…

Paradise Lost’s Aaron Aedy Admits New Album Is Basically Just Expensive Noise Pollution Right Now ðŸĪ·â€â™‚ïļðŸŽķðŸĨī
Breaking

Paradise Lost’s Aaron Aedy Admits New Album Is Basically Just Expensive Noise Pollution Right Now ðŸĪ·â€â™‚ïļðŸŽķðŸĨī

Chord F. DiscordApril 30, 2025April 30, 2025

In an earth-shattering interview with some dude on YouTube named Alejandrosis (who?), Paradise Lost guitarist Aaron Aedy (who? again) deigned…

“Destination: The Place You’ll Probably Regret Going, But Hey, At Least You Can Post About It ðŸĪŠ.”
Breaking

“Destination: The Place You’ll Probably Regret Going, But Hey, At Least You Can Post About It ðŸĪŠ.”

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

OMG, Crematory’s STILL at it? ðŸ‘ī💀 I thought these guys were, like, actually cremated back in the 90s! Apparently, they’ve…

iam8bit Drops Another Overpriced Shiny Disc Set for Hipsters Who Still Own Record Players ðŸ’ŋ🙄💰
Breaking

iam8bit Drops Another Overpriced Shiny Disc Set for Hipsters Who Still Own Record Players ðŸ’ŋ🙄💰

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

ðŸšĻðŸšĻðŸšĻ Hold onto your hats, folks, because iam8bit, purveyor of overpriced video game paraphernalia, is BACK with another vinyl record…

So, UX keeps ’em hooked, huh? 🙄 Let’s dissect why gamers are gluttons for punishment and keep hitting that “play” button! ðŸŽŪ😂
Breaking

So, UX keeps ’em hooked, huh? 🙄 Let’s dissect why gamers are gluttons for punishment and keep hitting that “play” button! ðŸŽŪ😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round, because we’re about to dissect the *deeply* fascinating world of game UX. And by “deeply fascinating,”…

OMG ðŸŧ🚊 Another “exclusive” trailer for that “bearly” escaping game, coming this May to “early access” (aka, still buggy AF) 🙄😂
Breaking

OMG ðŸŧ🚊 Another “exclusive” trailer for that “bearly” escaping game, coming this May to “early access” (aka, still buggy AF) 🙄😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Okay, gamers, brace yourselves for the most revolutionary, groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting, life-altering VR experience of… 2025? ðŸĪĻ Yeah, that’s right, Time…

ARC Raiders: A “Hands-On Preview” So Revolutionary, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (And Maybe Find a Hidden Chicken 🐔).
Breaking

ARC Raiders: A “Hands-On Preview” So Revolutionary, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (And Maybe Find a Hidden Chicken 🐔).

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 29, 2025May 25, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round and let Uncle Trollington tell you about *ARC Raiders*, the upcoming extraction shooter from those lovable…

Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently ðŸĪ·â€â™€ïļðŸŠ
Breaking

Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently ðŸĪ·â€â™€ïļðŸŠ

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Blackie Lawless, the lyrical genius behind such profound works as “Animal (F**k Like a Beast)” (a song so subtly nuanced…

Gene Simmons Blames Insurance for Highway Robbery Roadie Experience, Proving Rock ‘n’ Roll is Officially Dead 💀 and Replaced by Greed 💰
Breaking

Gene Simmons Blames Insurance for Highway Robbery Roadie Experience, Proving Rock ‘n’ Roll is Officially Dead 💀 and Replaced by Greed 💰

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

ðŸŽļ💰 Oh, the audacity! Gene Simmons, the Demon of… charging exorbitant prices, is back at it again! Apparently, being a…

Katy Perry’s “Lifetimes” Tour: Did Someone Replace Her Mic with a Kazoo and Glue Her Feet to the Stage? ðŸŽĪðŸĨī
Breaking

Katy Perry’s “Lifetimes” Tour: Did Someone Replace Her Mic with a Kazoo and Glue Her Feet to the Stage? ðŸŽĪðŸĨī

Chuck B. BallsyApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Oh, honey, bless Katy Perry’s heart. 💖 It seems April is just *determined* to be her nemesis. First, she decides…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 418 419 420 … 426 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 4 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 4 2026
  • Frosthaven Finally Escapes Endless Early Access Purgatory
  • Every Headliner Fears This
  • Because What Games Need Is Overpriced Concerts Now

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright ÂĐ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}