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Category: Breaking

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)
Breaking, Games News

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, can you believe it? Routine, the game that was supposed to drop back when the Mayan…

Fozzy Barfs Up Another Turd, This Time It’s ‘Fall In Line’
Breaking, Music News

Fozzy Barfs Up Another Turd, This Time It’s ‘Fall In Line’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

FOZZY, the musical masterpiece 🤩 fronted by wrestling “icon” Chris Jericho and the guitar wizard 🧙‍♂️ from STUCK MOJO, Rich…

James Gunn Doth Bestoweth His Divine Judgment Upon Ye Olde ‘The Batman Part Deux’ Script, Huzzah
Breaking, Movie News

James Gunn Doth Bestoweth His Divine Judgment Upon Ye Olde ‘The Batman Part Deux’ Script, Huzzah

FinnJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

OMG! 😱 James Gunn, our supreme overlord of DC, has graced us with his divine wisdom: *The Batman Part II*…

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster
Breaking, Games News

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet mercy, another “update” for Delta Force has dropped, like a turd in a punch bowl. Team Jade, bless…

WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)
Breaking, Music News

WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

OMG 😱, the metalcore overlords, WE CAME AS ROMANS, are gracing us with their presence AGAIN! Their new album, dramatically…

SpongeBob’s Back, Still Square, Still Pants-Obsessed, Who Cares
Breaking, Movie News

SpongeBob’s Back, Still Square, Still Pants-Obsessed, Who Cares

FinnJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

SpongeBob, that porous yellow menace, is, like, totally a sponge, duh 🙄. Which means he’s basically immortal. Try killing a…

Amy Lee Reveals the Evanescence Song That Should Have Been a Single (But We All Secretly Hate It)
Breaking, Music News

Amy Lee Reveals the Evanescence Song That Should Have Been a Single (But We All Secretly Hate It)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, honey, every artist has regrets, especially when they realize their “artistic vision” was maybe just a bad hair day…

‘Wednesday’ Season 2 Trailer: More Teen Angst and Supernatural Shenanigans, Yay
Breaking, Movie News

‘Wednesday’ Season 2 Trailer: More Teen Angst and Supernatural Shenanigans, Yay

FinnJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Wednesday Addams, back again to grace us with her oh-so-original brand of teenage angst and Kubrick stare…

K.K. Downing’s Back! (And Apparently Metal Depended On It)
Breaking, Music News

K.K. Downing’s Back! (And Apparently Metal Depended On It)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, the DRAMA! 🙄 K.K. Downing, formerly of that band JUDAS PRIEST (you know, the one he dramatically QUIT 🙄),…

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🦖 ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Ate the Box Office (Like a Raptor Eating a Goat)! 🐐 Seriously, who knew people…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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