OMG 😱, the metalcore overlords, WE CAME AS ROMANS, are gracing us with their presence AGAIN! Their new album, dramatically titled “All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed” (deep, right?), drops on Friday, August 22 via Sharptone Records. As if we weren’t already blessed enough, they’re also unleashing their third single, “Culture Wound”, complete with a music video that’s probably full of more angst than a teenager’s diary. Following the equally subtly named tracks “Bad Luck” and “No Rest For The Dreamer” (because who needs sleep when you can be metal?), this new banger apparently dives into the age-old question of whether we’re all secretly evil 😈. Get ready for some serious soul-searching… or just another generic metalcore song. 🤷♀️
So, “Culture Wound” is here to ask the BIG questions, like, are we inherently good or just inherently terrible? 🤔 The song grapples with the forces that shape us, both inside and outside, all while delivering the band’s signature blend of riffs and melodies. Which, let’s be honest, probably means more breakdowns and clean vocals than you can shake a stick at. 🙄
WE CAME AS ROMANS, in their infinite wisdom, had this to say: “‘Culture Wound’ is about looking inside and deciding which side of yourself will control your life.” Wow, groundbreaking stuff, guys. 🤯 “This song was written to question our human nature – is it inherently good or inherently selfish?” As if we haven’t heard that a million times before. 🙄 “All of the different ‘sides of ourselves’ that we’ve discovered, struggled with, or left behind is really what this album is about.” So, basically, it’s a therapy session set to heavy music? Sign me up… not. 😒
“All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed” is apparently a “profound creative evolution” for WE CAME AS ROMANS. You know, because every band claims their new album is their most evolved work yet. 🙄 Born from introspection and shaped by their journey through “triumph and tragedy” (aka, the usual band drama), the album explores themes of existentialism, gratitude, loss, and the endless cycle of life. Deep stuff, I tell ya! The album’s concept – inspired by death and rebirth – means it loops seamlessly, symbolizing that endings lead to new beginnings. Which is either genius or just a lazy way to avoid writing a proper ending. 🤔
The album came about from an “intensive creative process” where the band turned inward. Because apparently, staring at your navel is the key to great music. 🧘 What started as a struggle after 2022’s “grief-stricken” “Darkbloom” (RIP Kyle Pavone) became their most ambitious work yet. Each track is tied to a moment in the band’s history, creating a “sonic autobiography.” So, it’s basically a metalcore memoir? 📖 Riveting.
“Culture Wound” is the centerpiece for exploring duality and self-examination. The track was “extensively revised” to get every detail right. Because apparently, metalcore is all about the details. 🔍
Here’s the track listing for “All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed”:
01. Bad Luck (Because originality is overrated)
02. Lake Of Fire (Dante’s Inferno, but make it metalcore)
03. Red Smoke (Is this about BBQ?)
04. One By One (Sounds like a boy band song)
05. Culture Wound (The song that will save metalcore… maybe not)
06. Where Did You Go? (A heartfelt ballad about lost socks?)
07. No Rest For The Dreamer (Because sleep is for the weak)
08. B2tm (What does this even mean?)
09. Circling A Dying Sun (So poetic)
10. Knowing Pain (Because metalcore)
11. So Lost (Burning Flowers) (Emo vibes)
12. Because We’re Doomed (The title track that sums it all up)
WE CAME AS ROMANS will be touring the world with their “Bad Luck” tour. Catch them in North America starting July 22 in Toronto, culminating in a “historical homecoming” at The Fillmore in Detroit on August 23. Then, they’re off to Europe in the fall. They’ll also be at major festivals like Warped Tour, Inkcarceration, and When We Were Young. Because who doesn’t love reliving their teenage angst? 🤘
WE CAME AS ROMANS are “progressing and evolving at lightspeed,” whatever that means. 🚀 They’re apparently at the forefront of heavy music and culture, seamlessly blending groove, electronics, and singalongs. So, basically, they’re just like every other metalcore band. 🤷♀️
The band – Dave Stephens, Joshua Moore, Lou Cotton, Andy Glass, and David Puckett – broke through with “Tracing Back Roots” (2013), which hit the Billboard 200 Top 10. Because apparently, the charts still matter. Their self-titled 2015 album debuted at No. 11, solidifying their status as “modern metalcore royalty.” Bow down, peasants! 👑
After the tragic loss of Kyle Pavone in 2018, the band honored his legacy with “Darkbloom” (2022), their “highest-praised record to date.” Kerrang! gave it 4 out of 5 stars, calling it “a carrier for a knot of emotion.” A knot of emotion? Sounds uncomfortable. 🧶 It included tracks like “Black Hole” (featuring Caleb Shomo), with over 102 million Spotify streams, and “Daggers” (featuring Zero 9:36), with over 32 million streams. Because numbers are everything, right? 💰 Media outlets praised the album for its emotional range and sonic heft. So, basically, it was a metalcore album. 🤷♀️
WE CAME AS ROMANS is:
Dave Stephens – Vocals (Screaming and singing, the usual)
Joshua Moore – Guitar (Riffs and breakdowns galore)
Lou Cotton – Guitar (More riffs!)
Andy Glass – Bass (Holding down the low end)
David Puckett – Drums (Keeping the beat… or trying to)
Enjoy the music video… if you dare. 😈
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
