Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

EA Sports College Football 26: Prepare to be Underwhelmed (Again)
Breaking

EA Sports College Football 26: Prepare to be Underwhelmed (Again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

EA Sports, bless their cotton socks, has decided to grace us with EA Sports College Football 26. I know, I…

EA Cancels Black Panther Game Because T’Challa’s Kid vs Skrulls Was Too Lame, Even For Them
Breaking

EA Cancels Black Panther Game Because T’Challa’s Kid vs Skrulls Was Too Lame, Even For Them

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Oh no! 😭 EA, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has decided to can Cliffhanger Games and their super-duper…

CYNIC Loses Drummer (Again!), Replaces Him With Some Other Dude
Breaking

CYNIC Loses Drummer (Again!), Replaces Him With Some Other Dude

Chord F. DiscordMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

So, CYNIC, those progressive metal pioneers (allegedly), have kicked Matt Lynch to the curb 🗑️. Apparently, Michel Bélanger from GORGUTS…

SOULFLY Hires Some Dude from WARBRINGER to Pluck Thumbs on European Vacation in 2025
Breaking

SOULFLY Hires Some Dude from WARBRINGER to Pluck Thumbs on European Vacation in 2025

Chord F. DiscordMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

SOULFLY, in a move that can only be described as either genius or a sign of the impending apocalypse, has…

Elden Ring Movie: Because the Game Wasn’t Confusing Enough
Breaking

Elden Ring Movie: Because the Game Wasn’t Confusing Enough

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Oh, great, another video game movie. 🙄 Because Hollywood hasn’t butchered enough beloved franchises already. Apparently, A24 thinks they can…

PSYCROPTIC, the Band You’ve Never Heard Of, Joins METAL BLADE, Releases a Song That Sounds Just Like All Their Other Ones
Breaking

PSYCROPTIC, the Band You’ve Never Heard Of, Joins METAL BLADE, Releases a Song That Sounds Just Like All Their Other Ones

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Metal Blade Records, a label known for its impeccable taste (citation needed), has apparently signed Tasmanian death metal band PSYCROPTIC.…

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Breaking

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess
Breaking

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because the trailer for Good Fortune just dropped, and it’s about as original as a…

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025
Breaking

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! 🎉 Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes,…

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
Breaking

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 637 638 639 … 668 Next

Latest posts

  • Tom Cruise Suffers One of His Lowest Box Office Openings Ever
  • Chance Weighs Dropping First Name For The Rapper Moniker
  • Trump Looms Large Over Supreme Court’s New Term Again Obviously
  • Trump’s Charm Fails To Woo Latino Voters This Time Around
  • Baby Painted Purple For Vikings Game

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.