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Category: The Onion

The Onion

Kohler Recalls 30,000 Bathtubs Shipped With Nude Man Already Inside

January 7, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionKOHLER, WI—To address a situation the plumbing-fixture company described as embarrassing for everyone involved, Kohler issued a recall…

The Onion

Report: No, Really, TSA To Require Real ID This Year

January 6, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Emphasizing that Americans need to get their travel documents updated because the agency wasn’t messing around anymore, the…

The Onion

LeBron Pressures Bronny To Have Grandchildren Before He’s Too Old To Play With Them In NBA

January 6, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Reminding his son that he won’t be on the roster forever, Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James…

The Onion

Strength Training: Myth Vs. Fact

January 6, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWith the start of a new year, millions of Americans are honing in on their fitness goals and…

Labor Board Classifies ‘Love Is Blind’ Contestants As Employees
The Onion

Labor Board Classifies ‘Love Is Blind’ Contestants As Employees

January 4, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe National Labor Relations Board issued a complaint against the hit reality show Love Is Blind in which…

The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Timothée Chalamet

January 3, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionTimothée Chalamet stars as Bob Dylan in the new biopic A Complete Unknown, based on the book Dylan…

The Onion

Breaking: You Forget Yourself, Viscount!

January 3, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCHÂTEAU DE CHAMBORD—Asserting that such uncouth behavior brings shame upon the glorious lineage of a court that can…

Study: Few Bursts Of Vigorous Movement May Cut Women’s Heart Risks
The Onion

Study: Few Bursts Of Vigorous Movement May Cut Women’s Heart Risks

January 3, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionA study published in the British Journal Of Sports Medicine found that short bursts of movement throughout the…

Man Injured Protecting Wife From Polar Bear
The Onion

Man Injured Protecting Wife From Polar Bear

January 2, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionA man has sustained serious injuries after rescuing his wife who was ambushed by a polar bear in…

The Onion

Tips For Picking Out Running Shoes

January 2, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWith the start of a new year, many Americans will be engaging in new fitness routines, with jogging…

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