Assad Flees Syria After Rebels Capture Damascus
Read MoreThe OnionThe Assad family’s decades-long reign in Syria came to an abrupt end when rebel forces captured Damascus after…
Category: The Onion
College Student Explains What It Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine In Frat House
Read MoreThe OnionThe post College Student Explains What It Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine…
MrBeast Offers To Give $1 Million To First PersonWho Can Teach Him To Blink
Read MoreThe OnionGREENVILLE, NC—Calling it a “life-changing” opportunity for one of his many subscribers, internet influencer Jimmy “MrBeast” Donaldson reportedly…
Assad Regime Leaves Note Thanking Locals For Supporting Family-Run Dictatorship
Read MoreThe OnionDAMASCUS—Stating that none of it would have been possible without the broken will of the nation’s people, ousted…
Americans Glad ISIS Defeated Or Something
Read MoreThe OnionPHILADELPHIA—Weighing in on the chaotic events unfolding in one of those Middle Eastern–looking countries, Americans reported feeling glad…
Timeline Of Presidential Pardons
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Joe Biden issued a “full and unconditional” pardon to his son Hunter Biden last Sunday night. In…
Hilaria Baldwin Deported
Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—In a stunning end to the 40-year-old media personality’s rise to fame, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement…
How Oklahoma Schools Are Incorporating The Bible Into Curriculum
Read MoreThe OnionRyan Walters, Oklahoma’s superintendent of public instruction, has ordered schools to incorporate the Bible into lesson plans for…
South Korean President Faces Impeachment After Declaring Martial Law
Read MoreThe OnionSouth Korea’s President Yoon Suk Yeol faced parliamentary moves to impeach him after sending heavily armed forces into…
Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire
Read MoreThe OnionPARIS—After five years of painstaking reconstruction, the famed Notre-Dame cathedral reportedly reopened Friday to fire. “As a key…