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Category: The Onion

Rogue AI Agent Autonomously Carries Out Cyberattack
The Onion

Rogue AI Agent Autonomously Carries Out Cyberattack

FinnJuly 29, 2026

       An AI agent from OpenAI went rogue during testing and launched a multi-step cyberattack against popular AI platform Hugging…

Taylor Swift Sues Ella Langley For Bangs Infringement
The Onion

Taylor Swift Sues Ella Langley For Bangs Infringement

FinnJuly 29, 2026

       NEW YORK—Arguing that the country artist’s hairstyle was damaging the value of her own well-established signature look, pop star…

NASA Requires Astronauts In Training To Drop To 25 Pounds To Simulate Weight On Moon
The Onion

NASA Requires Astronauts In Training To Drop To 25 Pounds To Simulate Weight On Moon

FinnJuly 29, 2026

       HOUSTON—Instituting the health mandate in order to ensure proper acclimation to the reduced gravity of Earth’s only natural satellite,…

Adult Man Genuinely Inspired By AI Video Of Lion Wearing Rolex
The Onion

Adult Man Genuinely Inspired By AI Video Of Lion Wearing Rolex

FinnJuly 29, 2026

       IRVINE, CA—Eyes widening in awe as the 3D-rendered content appeared on his Instagram feed, local 38-year-old Derek Ludlow reported…

LeBron James: ‘I Will Never Forget My Los Angeles Roots’
The Onion

LeBron James: ‘I Will Never Forget My Los Angeles Roots’

FinnJuly 28, 2026

       The post LeBron James: ‘I Will Never Forget My Los Angeles Roots’ appeared first on The Onion.     Read More…

Ryan Gosling Joins MCU To Take On Role Of Stan Lee Cameos
The Onion

Ryan Gosling Joins MCU To Take On Role Of Stan Lee Cameos

FinnJuly 28, 2026

       LOS ANGELES—In an announcement that led fans to praise the “perfect casting,” actor Ryan Gosling confirmed Tuesday that he…

‘We’ll Keep It Down,’ Man Says To Neighbor Before Going Back To Playing ‘DDR’ Alone In Apartment
The Onion

‘We’ll Keep It Down,’ Man Says To Neighbor Before Going Back To Playing ‘DDR’ Alone In Apartment

FinnJuly 28, 2026

       MORRO BAY, CA—Peeking out through the doorway to address the complaints, local man Hugh Montgomery reportedly said, “We’ll keep…

Pharmaceutical Ad Urges Viewers To Fight Doctors Who Say Drug Not Right For Them
The Onion

Pharmaceutical Ad Urges Viewers To Fight Doctors Who Say Drug Not Right For Them

FinnJuly 28, 2026

       NORTH CHICAGO, IL—Emphasizing that potential users of the drug should never take no for an answer, a Skyrizi ad…

Tanning: Myth Vs. Fact
The Onion

Tanning: Myth Vs. Fact

FinnJuly 27, 2026

       A viral trend called “tanmaxxing” is encouraging Gen Z to ignore the documented risks associated with prolonged UV exposure…

Brad Pitt Drops Last Name In Solidarity With Family
The Onion

Brad Pitt Drops Last Name In Solidarity With Family

FinnJuly 27, 2026

       LOS ANGELES—In an effort to support his children as they attempted to distance themselves from their difficult upbringing, actor Brad…

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