Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command
NEW YORK—Telling everyone to count down as she turned to her colleague, actress Lea Michele reportedly showed off her…
Category: The Onion
JD Vance To Personally Care For Chickens At Naval Observatory
JD Vance has commissioned a custom chicken coop to be installed at the official Vice Presidential residence at the…
Trump Warns U.S. Will No Longer Protect G7 From Threat Of Jigsaw
ÉVIAN-LES-BAINS, FRANCE—Claiming their failure to help America would now leave the nations incredibly vulnerable to the danger of shotgun…
New York City Mayor Presents Knicks With Key To His Car
The post New York City Mayor Presents Knicks With Key To His Car appeared first on The Onion. The…
OG Anunoby Sends Parade Crowd Into Frenzy With Celebratory Nod
The post OG Anunoby Sends Parade Crowd Into Frenzy With Celebratory Nod appeared first on The Onion. The post…
Millions Of New Yorkers Show Up To Celebrate Plucky Underdog James Dolan
The post Millions Of New Yorkers Show Up To Celebrate Plucky Underdog James Dolan appeared first on The Onion.…
Accidental Mention Of Guest House Blows Years Of Subterfuge To Conceal Family’s Wealth From Friends
ST. LOUIS—Immediately ruining decades of graceful maneuvering to avoid discussion of the specific details of her upbringing, area woman…
Nation Proud Of Self For Watching, Enjoying Original Movie
WASHINGTON—Patting themselves on the back for seeing a film that was neither a sequel nor a prequel, the U.S.…
Woman Dives Headfirst Into Thrilling Adventure By Blindly Purchasing Different Apple Variety
DALLAS—In a bold risk that strayed from her usual habits, local woman Emily Lentz reportedly dove headfirst into a…
Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon
The post Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon appeared first on The Onion.…