Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: 1985

FORBIDDEN still exists somehow and has new music
Breaking, Music News

FORBIDDEN still exists somehow and has new music

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2026September 9, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrash metal nostalgia? 🤘 Because FORBIDDEN is back with a brand new,…

Van Halen Brothers Still Fighting Like Old Married Couple
Breaking, Music News

Van Halen Brothers Still Fighting Like Old Married Couple

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 6, 2026September 7, 2026

Oh boy, it’s time to grab some popcorn and watch the drama unfold! 🍿 Sammy Hagar has finally responded to…

Possessed’s Jeff Becerra Promises To Ruin His Legacy With Annual Albums
Breaking, Music News

Possessed’s Jeff Becerra Promises To Ruin His Legacy With Annual Albums

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2026August 22, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I can barely contain my excitement… POSSESSED…

Jennifer Finch’s memoir is finally happening because you all clearly needed this in your life
Breaking, Music News

Jennifer Finch’s memoir is finally happening because you all clearly needed this in your life

Chord F. DiscordAugust 18, 2026August 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious name-dropping and nostalgia? 🤯 Because I’m about to take you on…

Tennessee efficiently kills two birds with one executioner today
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tennessee efficiently kills two birds with one executioner today

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like a big day for executions in the US,…

Oh joy, another Moroder anthology to milk the disco cow again
Breaking, Music News

Oh joy, another Moroder anthology to milk the disco cow again

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another deluxe edition, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. Giorgio Moroder,…

Trump Takes On Dulles Airport Because Why Not At This Point
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Takes On Dulles Airport Because Why Not At This Point

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump has unveiled a major renovation plan for Dulles…

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes
Breaking, Music News

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh no, the music world is literally ending: L7 bassist Jennifer Finch has passed away at 59 🤯. I mean,…

LOUDNESS Still Loud After All These Years Somehow
Breaking, Music News

LOUDNESS Still Loud After All These Years Somehow

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my black metal t-shirt because I’m so shocked that LOUDNESS is still kicking…

Megadeth Cancels Lisbon Show And Suddenly Plastic Cups Become Relevant Again
Breaking, Music News

Megadeth Cancels Lisbon Show And Suddenly Plastic Cups Become Relevant Again

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Oh no, the world is ending: MEGADETH’s EvilLive festival appearance was cancelled due to “technical issues” and I’m still trying…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 5 Next

Latest posts

  • Lawyers Thrive in Data Centers Everyone Else Loves to Hate
  • Nation Celebrates Another Year of Existing on September 11
  • Carín León Returns To Sphere In 2027 After Record Breaking Debut
  • 9/11 Hero Dies Again After Being Mathematically Overlooked
  • Slaughter to Prevail in Houston, TX (09/10/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.