Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! 🙄 Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire 🔥 enough, Netflix has decided…
Tag: Adventure
Orbán and Putin’s Bro-Date in Moscow: Trump Card Fuels Hungary’s Gas-Guzzling Adventure
Another day, another globalist conspiracy thwarted by the genius of President Trump! CNN is clutching its pearls because our favorite…
‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…
Dragon Quest VII: Prepare to Yawn (Again)
Ah, Dragon Quest VII, the game that promised adventure and delivered… eventual boredom 😴. Back in 2001, I thought I…
‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently
OMG! 🙄 Can you believe it’s only been, like, NINE years since Moana brainwashed our kids? 🤯 Apparently, that’s enough…
Wolverine Game Finally Shows Its Claws, But Will They Retract From Disappointment
Oh, great, another superhero game! 🙄 As if we don’t have enough of those already. Insomniac Games, those guys who…
Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Band, THE VIOLENT HOUR, Drops a Music Video So Bad It’ll Make You Want ‘Sex And Cigarettes’
OMG 🙄, THE VIOLENT HOUR, which is basically BUTCHER BABIES 2.0 but without the other chick, fronted by former BUTCHER…
Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem
Woody and Buzz, those dusty relics of childhood, are back for Toy Story 5, because apparently, Pixar ran out of…
Crunchyroll Game Vault: 75 “Robust” Titles to Bore You to Tears in Year Two
Oh boy, Crunchyroll Game Vault is two years old! 🎉 That’s like, what, 14 in dog years? 🐶 And to…
New Movies on Streaming This Weekend (Prepare for Disappointment)
Another weekend, another excuse to avoid sunlight and human interaction! 🥳 Gather ’round, fellow couch potatoes, as we unveil the…