Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: As I Lay Dying

AS I LAY DYING Has ‘All The Songs Ready’ To Make Your Ears Bleed Again With Next Studio Album
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Has ‘All The Songs Ready’ To Make Your Ears Bleed Again With Next Studio Album

Chord F. DiscordMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

AS I LAY DYING vocalist Tim Lambesis and bassist/clean vocalist Chris Clancy sat down with Egor Erushin earlier this month…

🛑The Uncanceled: Top 5 Western Metal Bands Playing in Russia During the War 🇷🇺
Videos

🛑The Uncanceled: Top 5 Western Metal Bands Playing in Russia During the War 🇷🇺

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 29, 2026

Since the invasion of Ukraine 🇺🇦, the vast majority of international artists have boycotted Russia 🚫. However, not everyone joined…

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Ah yes, “Echoes”, the sound of desperation from AS I LAY DYING, a band whose leader thought hiring a hitman…

As I Lay Dying or As I Lay Crying? New Lineup, New Single, Same Old Drama
Breaking, Music News

As I Lay Dying or As I Lay Crying? New Lineup, New Single, Same Old Drama

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

HAHA! 🤣 Metalcore “mainstays” AS I LAY DYING, the band that makes more comebacks than a boomerang on steroids, is…

The Rasmus Drops ‘Weirdo’ Music Vid Featuring Some Guy From THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, Who Cares
Breaking, Music News

The Rasmus Drops ‘Weirdo’ Music Vid Featuring Some Guy From THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, Who Cares

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 12, 2025September 12, 2025

OMG! 🤪 Can you believe it’s been almost a whole YEAR 📅 since those Finnish rockers 🇫🇮, THE RASMUS (who…

🇺🇸 Tim Lambesis Is Back on Tour — Because Only Terrorist Russia Will Book Him 💀🤡
As I Lay Dying in Russia?! Tim Lambesis' Insane Comeback Tour 🇷🇺💀
Music News

🇺🇸 Tim Lambesis Is Back on Tour — Because Only Terrorist Russia Will Book Him 💀🤡

FinnJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

Remember Tim Lambesis? The As I Lay Dying frontman who once tried to hire a hitman to kill his wife,…

As I Lay Dying in Russia! 🇷🇺💀 The Fall of Tim Lambesis Explained 🤡
Videos

As I Lay Dying in Russia! 🇷🇺💀 The Fall of Tim Lambesis Explained 🤡

Chuck B. BallsyJune 5, 2025

Once a metalcore star, now a walking PR disaster, Lambesis is launching a one-man nostalgia tour in Russia (and several…

AS I LAY DYING: The “We Swear We’re Not Still Canceled” European Tour 2025 (Maybe)
Breaking

AS I LAY DYING: The “We Swear We’re Not Still Canceled” European Tour 2025 (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because your favorite band of reformed (debatable) metalcore mayhem, AS I LAY DYING, is back! And…

🤘 Total Metal Meltdown: As I Lay Dying Guitarist Ditches Band After Tim’s Latest Shenanigans!
🧨 Can Tim Lambesis Keep a Band Together? As I Lay Dying Loses Yet Another Guitarist! 🧨
Music News

🤘 Total Metal Meltdown: As I Lay Dying Guitarist Ditches Band After Tim’s Latest Shenanigans!

FinnOctober 31, 2024October 31, 2024

As I Lay Dying guitarist Phil Sgrosso has finally hit his limit and made his exit from the beleaguered metal…

Latest posts

  • Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Consolidation Of Film Culture
  • Because You Needed Another Warframe Clone Obviously Coming Soon
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 12 2026
  • Mitch McConnell Takes a Tumble and a Hospital Trip Apparently
  • Queen Needs Brian May’s Permission To Exist Again Somehow

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}