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Tag: baby

Events

“How to Waste 5 Minutes of Your Life Masterfully with a Pencil”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 4, 2026

Unlock the secret to drawing like a pro in just 5 minutes! 😅 Join Nishant Jain, the sneaky artist who…

Buttigieg: ‘unacceptable’ that Americans are stranded in the Middle East, Probably Should’ve Taken the Train Instead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Buttigieg: ‘unacceptable’ that Americans are stranded in the Middle East, Probably Should’ve Taken the Train Instead

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Breaking: Democrats Suddenly Become War Heroes While America Prepares for Glorious Victory Over Iran! Oh look, it’s another Democrat suddenly…

LinkedIn Post Sparks Fallout Remaster Frenzy: Is It Just Another Job Application?
Fallout Remaster Rumours Ignite Due To A LinkedIn Post
Breaking, Games News

LinkedIn Post Sparks Fallout Remaster Frenzy: Is It Just Another Job Application?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Oh look, another day, another LinkedIn post sparking an internet meltdown! Because apparently, the gaming world’s collective brain cells short-circuited…

Stocks Twerk as Wall Street Freaks Over Iran War Freakout
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Twerk as Wall Street Freaks Over Iran War Freakout

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Trump Puts Iran on Notice: Global Markets Shake, But America Stays Strong Well, well, well – looks like our fearless…

Trump’s Neck Rash? Just His Skin’s Way of ‘Preventing’ Criticism!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Neck Rash? Just His Skin’s Way of ‘Preventing’ Criticism!

Big ElephantMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh no, poor baby Trump has a rash! Quick, somebody get the president a tiny violin! It’s truly heartbreaking to…

SEX PISTOLS Featuring FRANK CARTER Say “Oops, We Forgot You!” and Drop 2026 North American Tour Dates
SEX PISTOLS with Frank Carter Announce North American Comeback Tour—Because Why Not, We're All Gonna Die Anyway
Breaking, Events, Music News

SEX PISTOLS Featuring FRANK CARTER Say “Oops, We Forgot You!” and Drop 2026 North American Tour Dates

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

After a brief hiatus caused by guitarist Steve Jones’s wrist deciding it had enough of humanity, the SEX PISTOLS are…

In A Violent Nature 2 Unleashes Its Teaser Trailer, Because One Bloodbath Just Wasn’t Enough
Breaking, Movie News

In A Violent Nature 2 Unleashes Its Teaser Trailer, Because One Bloodbath Just Wasn’t Enough

FinnMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

In A Violent Nature — because apparently we needed more movies where the killer is the protagonist and not, you…

Amazon Teases First Glimpse of God of War TV Series, Proving Even Kratos Can’t Escape Hollywood’s Grasp
Amazon Reveals First Look at God of War Live-Action TV Series
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Amazon Teases First Glimpse of God of War TV Series, Proving Even Kratos Can’t Escape Hollywood’s Grasp

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Well, well, well, look what Amazon dragged in from the depths of Midgard! The streaming giant has finally blessed us…

Two G.I. Joe Movies in the Works: Because One Just Isn’t Confusing Enough
G.I. Joe: The Franchise That Refuses to Die, Kinda Like Cobra Commander After a Nuclear Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

Two G.I. Joe Movies in the Works: Because One Just Isn’t Confusing Enough

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

G.I. Joe is back, baby! And by “back” we mean Paramount is once again attempting to turn a line of…

Kpop Demon Hunters: Because Who Needs ‘Citizen Kane’ When You’ve Got Dancing Demons?
It's official: Kpop Demon Hunters is now officially more prestigious than your film degree.
Breaking, Movie News

Kpop Demon Hunters: Because Who Needs ‘Citizen Kane’ When You’ve Got Dancing Demons?

FinnFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

The massive Netflix streaming sensation of 2025 — and the presumptive favorite to win the upcoming Academy Award for Best…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des RĂŠglementations et de la FiscalitĂŠ pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
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