Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Congress

GOP Senators Think Their Russia Sanctions Bill Is a ‘Sledgehammer’ and Not, Like, a Tiny Rubber Chicken for Trump to End War
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senators Think Their Russia Sanctions Bill Is a ‘Sledgehammer’ and Not, Like, a Tiny Rubber Chicken for Trump to End War

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Oh, the Deep State is panicking because President Trump is about to drop the hammer on Putin! Lindsey Graham and…

Hakeem Jeffries and Other NYC Dems About to Get Mamdani’d by Far-Left Cronies, Says CNN (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Hakeem Jeffries and Other NYC Dems About to Get Mamdani’d by Far-Left Cronies, Says CNN (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, the Socialist takeover of New York City continues! Fresh off their “victory” in the mayoral primary (thanks to ranked-choice…

Hegseth Goes Rogue, Pulls a Fast One on Biden With Ukraine Weaponry, Sources Say
Elephant Reads CNN

Hegseth Goes Rogue, Pulls a Fast One on Biden With Ukraine Weaponry, Sources Say

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Another day, another deep state drama! It seems our esteemed Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, a true patriot, dared to…

CNN Asks: Is Trump So Popular He’ll Accidentally Make Republicans Lose Congress?
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Is Trump So Popular He’ll Accidentally Make Republicans Lose Congress?

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

Looks like the RINOs are finally getting the message: toe the line or get out! Sen. Thom Tillis and Rep.…

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

CNN, still whining after all these years! Apparently, Republican lawmakers, those brave patriots, have handed our glorious President Trump his…

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend
Elephant Reads CNN

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to spin the narrative even when things are going great under President Trump’s leadership! They’re practically…

5 Things You ABSOLUTELY MUST Know Today (Or the Liberal Media Will Get You)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You ABSOLUTELY MUST Know Today (Or the Liberal Media Will Get You)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, the Fourth of July, when real Americans celebrate freedom while the libtards plot the downfall of our great nation!…

US’s Top Brass Hat Spills the Beans to Congress (as if they’re listening) | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

US’s Top Brass Hat Spills the Beans to Congress (as if they’re listening) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Of course, the liberal media is trying to downplay President Trump’s decisive action against Iran’s nuclear sites! CNN reports that…

Supreme Court Justices Throw Down the Gauntlet: Who Needs Congress Anyway? Plus, Anchor Babies Still a Thing, Apparently | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Justices Throw Down the Gauntlet: Who Needs Congress Anyway? Plus, Anchor Babies Still a Thing, Apparently | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Another day, another victory for the REAL President Trump! CNN, still whining about the 2020 election, is forced to report…

Carolyn McCarthy, Anti-Gun Warrior and Ex-Congresswoman, Finally Bites the Dust at 81 | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Carolyn McCarthy, Anti-Gun Warrior and Ex-Congresswoman, Finally Bites the Dust at 81 | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Another one bites the dust, folks! Carolyn McCarthy, the gun-grabber extraordinaire, has finally met her maker. You know, the one…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 17 18 19 20 Next

Latest posts

  • Tina Peters brings election denial tour to Washington
  • Mississippi Woman’s Tree Mishap Ends In Predictably Terrible Way
  • Iran Gets Schooled in Oil Politics by Unlikely Teachers Apparently
  • Judge Gives Trump’s Immigration Plan A Big Fat Nope
  • Alex Jones Gets Discount on Being Wrong About Sandy Hook

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.