Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: crime

Trump’s Crime-Fighting DC Takeover: Did He Accidentally Curb Crime While Triggering an Immigration Arrestpalooza
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Crime-Fighting DC Takeover: Did He Accidentally Curb Crime While Triggering an Immigration Arrestpalooza

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2025August 23, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to spin President Trump’s successful efforts to clean up the Democrat-run D.C.…

‘Birds of Prey’ Almost Soiled Themselves With an Iconic Batman Villain
Breaking, Movie News

‘Birds of Prey’ Almost Soiled Themselves With an Iconic Batman Villain

FinnAugust 23, 2025August 23, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? 💅 Apparently, our beloved 🤡Harley Quinn🤡 almost had a *totally* different nemesis in Birds of Prey!…

“All The Devils Are Here” Poster & Images: Prepare for Mildly Titillating Thrills (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

“All The Devils Are Here” Poster & Images: Prepare for Mildly Titillating Thrills (Maybe)

FinnAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Oh, look, another “taut psychological crime thriller” 🙄. Because we haven’t seen enough of those, right? This cinematic masterpiece 🎬…

BAFTA-Nominated Scriptic dares to unleash AI Detective Game starring Ralph Ineson, because why not
Breaking, Games News

BAFTA-Nominated Scriptic dares to unleash AI Detective Game starring Ralph Ineson, because why not

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because Scriptic, those masterminds behind the “BAFTA-nominated” (we’ll get to that later) Scriptic: Crime Stories, are…

New Mexico Governor Throws Epic Crime-Fighting Party, National Guard Invited (BY FORCE)
Elephant Reads CNN

New Mexico Governor Throws Epic Crime-Fighting Party, National Guard Invited (BY FORCE)

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Oh, the irony! National Guard troops deployed in New Mexico to combat crime! But wait, it’s a *Democrat* governor calling…

Only Murders in the Building Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for More Ridiculousness
Breaking, Movie News

Only Murders in the Building Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for More Ridiculousness

FinnAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh, look, it’s “Only Murders in the Building” Season 5. Yes, STILL going. Who knew this show would last longer…

From Pig Pen to Pompous: Trump’s DC Makeover Attempts
Elephant Reads CNN

From Pig Pen to Pompous: Trump’s DC Makeover Attempts

Big ElephantAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh, the horror! Our glorious leader, President Trump, is actually trying to make Washington D.C. great again! The swamp creatures…

CNN: Trump’s DC Takeover—McCabe Calls It a ‘Splashy’ Act (Is Anyone Really Surprised?)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s DC Takeover—McCabe Calls It a ‘Splashy’ Act (Is Anyone Really Surprised?)

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, CNN, always good for a laugh! Here we have Deep State’s own Andrew McCabe whining about President Trump’s “takeover”…

CNN’s August 12th Rundown: DC Goes Wild, Gaza’s Still There, Food Stamps for All, Austin’s Wild West!
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s August 12th Rundown: DC Goes Wild, Gaza’s Still There, Food Stamps for All, Austin’s Wild West!

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, trying to make sense of the world through their liberal, anti-Trump, America-hating lenses. But…

CNN: DC’s Criminals Suddenly Remembered Crime Is Bad, Violent Crime Rates Plummet (Thanks, Biden?)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: DC’s Criminals Suddenly Remembered Crime Is Bad, Violent Crime Rates Plummet (Thanks, Biden?)

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2025August 11, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their “facts” like they’re not in bed with the radical left. President Trump is 100% right,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 23 24 25 … 31 Next

Latest posts

  • ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}