Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: crime

Justice Finally Arrives 14 Years Late to the Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Finally Arrives 14 Years Late to the Party

Big ElephantOctober 23, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this case, and I have to say, it’s a real doozy. A man…

Because You Clearly Need More Of The Same Thing Over And Over Again
Breaking, Movie News

Because You Clearly Need More Of The Same Thing Over And Over Again

FinnOctober 22, 2026October 22, 2026

You Can See Everything, the latest documentary from Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim, has taken the film world by storm.…

More Unnecessary Sequels And Reboots To Binge On Streaming This Weekend
Breaking, Movie News

More Unnecessary Sequels And Reboots To Binge On Streaming This Weekend

FinnOctober 22, 2026October 22, 2026

New movies are flooding streaming platforms this week, because of course they are. It’s not like we need any more…

Garfield’s latest concoction mashes auto battlers with battle royale chaos predictably
Breaking, Games News

Garfield’s latest concoction mashes auto battlers with battle royale chaos predictably

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 22, 2026October 22, 2026

Get ready for the chaos, folks! Richard Garfield, the genius behind Magic: The Gathering, is back with a brand new…

GOP Spends Big on Crime Ads Without Victims’ Consent Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Spends Big on Crime Ads Without Victims’ Consent Apparently

Big ElephantOctober 22, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Republican super PAC, the Senate Leadership Fund, has been using…

Clayface: Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Face Full of Clay and Existential Terror
Breaking, Movie News

Clayface: Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Face Full of Clay and Existential Terror

FinnOctober 21, 2026October 22, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🎃️👻 Clayface is coming to a theater near you, and it’s a…

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better To Do
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better To Do

FinnOctober 21, 2026October 21, 2026

In a move that will surely delight everyone who has ever complained about not having enough content to binge, Netflix…

Another lovely day on the NYC subway turns fatally awful
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another lovely day on the NYC subway turns fatally awful

Big ElephantOctober 17, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading the news, and I come across a story that just makes me shake…

Murdaugh Returns to Court Because That’s Going Well So Far
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Murdaugh Returns to Court Because That’s Going Well So Far

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2026

Alex Murdaugh is heading back to court, and I’m sipping my coffee, thinking, “This is gonna be good.” The disgraced…

Trump Spares Nation Gory Livestream of Firing Squad Execution
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Spares Nation Gory Livestream of Firing Squad Execution

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama surrounding Nidal Hasan’s execution, and I’ve got to say,…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 44 Next

Latest posts

  • Spin of the Day: A quiz that challenges readers’ knowledge of recent news stories. — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Justice Finally Arrives 14 Years Late to the Party
  • GOP Begs Trump for Cash to Save Sinking Ship
  • NBA Finally Finds Way To Get LeBron To Stand At Attention During National Anthem
  • Scott Weiland Unseen Footage Surfaces With Live Album

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.