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Tag: Donald Trump

Nike’s Genius Plan to Pay $1.5 Billion in Taxes and Call It a “Turnaround”
Elephant Reads CNN

Nike’s Genius Plan to Pay $1.5 Billion in Taxes and Call It a “Turnaround”

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Oh, the irony! Nike, that bastion of woke capitalism, is whining about tariffs imposed by our great President Trump! Seems…

Jimmy Kimmel’s Back: Did You Miss Him? (We Didn’t)
Breaking

Jimmy Kimmel’s Back: Did You Miss Him? (We Didn’t)

FinnSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 Disney, those woke snowflakes ❄️, and ABC (Always Broadcasting Crap) have officially announced that Jimmy Kimmel Live! 🤮…

Judge Jeanine’s Wild Ride: From TV Star to Trump’s Crusader (While Her Office Burns)
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Jeanine’s Wild Ride: From TV Star to Trump’s Crusader (While Her Office Burns)

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! This time, they’re whining about Jeanine Pirro, who Trump appointed…

Sharon den Adel spills the tea: Within Temptation goes full SJW
Breaking, Music News

Sharon den Adel spills the tea: Within Temptation goes full SJW

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

In an August 2025 interview with Germany’s Rock Antenne, Sharon Den Adel of Dutch metallers WITHIN TEMPTATION, known for their…

Donald Trump Declares War on Ed Sheeran: “America Can Only Have One Great Ginger!
Ed Sheeran vs Donald Trump: The Redheaded Duel That Will Decide America’s Fate
Music News

Donald Trump Declares War on Ed Sheeran: “America Can Only Have One Great Ginger!

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

What was supposed to be just another boring Sunday podcast turned into a geopolitical meltdown. Ed Sheeran — British singer,…

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

SPINAL TAP, those legends who peaked in the ’80s and have been desperately clinging to relevance ever since, graced the…

Trump Gives Swift and Kelce Two Weeks to Procreate: “We Must Make America Fertile Again!”
The Kelce-Swift Ultimatum: Why Trump Demands a Baby From Them Right Now
Music News

Trump Gives Swift and Kelce Two Weeks to Procreate: “We Must Make America Fertile Again!”

FinnAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

In an exclusive statement that shook the foundations of the civilized world and caused a sharp spike in Xanax prescriptions,…

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music
Breaking, Music News

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

During a groundbreaking 🤯 interview on “Whiplash”, the KLOS radio show hosted by the one and only Full Metal Jackie…

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle
Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Folks, the Deep State is at it again! These so-called “FBI Agents Association” are crying foul because President Trump is…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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