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Tag: Donald Trump

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music
Breaking, Music News

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

During a groundbreaking 🤯 interview on “Whiplash”, the KLOS radio show hosted by the one and only Full Metal Jackie…

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle
Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Folks, the Deep State is at it again! These so-called “FBI Agents Association” are crying foul because President Trump is…

Trump Gets a Get-Out-of-Fraud-Free Card From NY Court
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets a Get-Out-of-Fraud-Free Card From NY Court

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Ok. Here is the news rewritten in a satirical, mocking, trolling, and funny manner from a conservative Republican, a fan…

Trump Weaponizes FBI & DOJ to Settle Petty Squabbles with Cryin’ Schiff
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Weaponizes FBI & DOJ to Settle Petty Squabbles with Cryin’ Schiff

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

You remember Adam Schiff, right? The guy who made a career out of harassing President Trump with one bogus investigation…

When Vlad Met His Orange Crush: A Tale of Sauna Steam and (Probably) No Collusion
Elephant Reads CNN

When Vlad Met His Orange Crush: A Tale of Sauna Steam and (Probably) No Collusion

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

With fighter jets, a red carpet and a hopeful slogan — “Pursuing Peace” — plastered on the wall, President Donald…

Game Over: Human Meme Hulk Hogan Loses His Final Boss Battle with Reality
He's Finally Tapped Out: The '80s Icon, Scandal Magnet, and Star of 'Santa with Muscles' Is Gone
Movie News

Game Over: Human Meme Hulk Hogan Loses His Final Boss Battle with Reality

FinnJuly 25, 2025July 25, 2025

At the ripe old age of 71, the squared circle in the sky has called home its most orange-tanned disciple…

Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’
Breaking, Music News

Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric rap-metal dinosaurs CLAWFINGER are BACK with “Before We All Die”, dropping February 20, 2026, on Perception,…

Stephen Colbert’s Reign of Terror Ends: CBS Finally Pulls the Plug Due to Emptying Their Bank Account
Breaking

Stephen Colbert’s Reign of Terror Ends: CBS Finally Pulls the Plug Due to Emptying Their Bank Account

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Wow, hold onto your dentures, folks! 👵 CBS, in a move that’s clearly not suspicious at all 🙄, is yanking…

EA Sports FC 26: Zlatan’s Face So Good, It Leaked Before the Trailer Even Breathed
Breaking, Games News

EA Sports FC 26: Zlatan’s Face So Good, It Leaked Before the Trailer Even Breathed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

EA has announced that Swedish demigod Zlatan Ibrahimović, the only human to ever bench press a planet, will be the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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