Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Donald Trump

Gene Simmons Weeps at 2025 Kennedy Center Honors While Pretending Ace Frehley Wasn’t Missing
Breaking, Music News

Gene Simmons Weeps at 2025 Kennedy Center Honors While Pretending Ace Frehley Wasn’t Missing

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Gene Simmons Just Casually Declared Himself a Greek God While Accepting a Kennedy Center Honor, Because of Course He Did…

Kamala Harris Extends Book Tour to 2026 Because Apparently Even Her Memoir Needs a Second Chance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala Harris Extends Book Tour to 2026 Because Apparently Even Her Memoir Needs a Second Chance

Big ElephantDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

Kamala Harris announces 2026 book tour extension, now rebranded as ‘How to Lose an Election and Still Get Paid’ –…

Thai Foreign Minister Basically Says ‘Don’t Worry, the Military Show Must Go On’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Thai Foreign Minister Basically Says ‘Don’t Worry, the Military Show Must Go On’

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

In a stunning development that shocked exactly zero people who’ve ever trusted the UN, Thailand has launched airstrikes against Cambodia,…

Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

While a real 7.6 magnitude earthquake shook Japan’s northeastern coast, CNN rushed in with its own aftershock: a hysterical tremor…

CNN Discovers Trump’s SHOCKING Kennedy Center Makeover: You Won’t BELIEVE What He Did
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Discovers Trump’s SHOCKING Kennedy Center Makeover: You Won’t BELIEVE What He Did

Big ElephantDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Well, folks, looks like CNN is at it again, whining about President Trump making the Kennedy Center GREAT AGAIN! Apparently,…

Netflix’s Epic Fail: Will a Tiny Question Nuke the Warner Bros Deal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Netflix’s Epic Fail: Will a Tiny Question Nuke the Warner Bros Deal

Big ElephantDecember 6, 2025December 6, 2025

Netflix, the bastion of woke programming and leftist indoctrination, wants to buy Warner Bros. and HBO for a measly $72…

CNN: Trump’s Venezuelan Vacation Plans Foiled by Stubborn Maduro, While Back Home, Someone Yells ‘War Crime’ Over Something Probably Minor
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s Venezuelan Vacation Plans Foiled by Stubborn Maduro, While Back Home, Someone Yells ‘War Crime’ Over Something Probably Minor

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still whining about President Trump’s brilliant strategy in Venezuela. Looks like Maduro’s tango lessons…

Wounded Knee: Government Still Dishing Out Medals Like Candy, Descendants Still Salty
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wounded Knee: Government Still Dishing Out Medals Like Candy, Descendants Still Salty

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another Day, Another Liberal Lament: Wounded Knee Edition! The woke mob is at it again, folks, trying to rewrite history…

Charlotte’s Sheriff, Once a TV Star, Now Apparently an ICE Agent (LOL) | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte’s Sheriff, Once a TV Star, Now Apparently an ICE Agent (LOL) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Sheriff McFadden’s Sanctuary City Shenanigans Backfire Spectacularly! Another Win for Trump’s America-First Immigration Policies! Garry McFadden, the darling of the…

Epstein Files: Prepare for Disappointment Despite Politicians Pretending to Care
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Files: Prepare for Disappointment Despite Politicians Pretending to Care

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Well, folks, the swamp creatures in Congress *finally* passed a bill to release the Epstein files. You know, the ones…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 106 107 108 … 112 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT claims vandalism caused Reflecting Pool damage
  • RuneScape dusts off player housing with fresh coat of monetization paint
  • Alex Skolnick Thinks Angus Young Is Good Or Something
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT fixes Reflecting Pool after vandals cause 300 yard slashes
  • Floor Jansen Ditches Symphonic Stuff For Actual Metal Because You Begged Her To

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}