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Tag: Events

Webinar: How to Fire Someone Without Getting Sued or Haunted by Their Ghost
Live

Webinar: How to Fire Someone Without Getting Sued or Haunted by Their Ghost

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: HR Wizards Unite! Samara Belitzky to Reveal Ancient Secrets of Firing People Without Getting Sued 🚨 📅 Mark…

The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad

Big ElephantDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Woke Ivy League Meltdown: Brown University’s Security is as Soft as Their Marxist Curriculum After Latest Campus Massacre In a…

How to Monetize Your Players’ Existential Dread: A Guide to the 20-Hour Grind
Breaking, Games News

How to Monetize Your Players’ Existential Dread: A Guide to the 20-Hour Grind

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Attention, gamers! The industry is collapsing under the unbearable weight of its own epicness! 🚨 In a stunning turn of…

Chris Evans Is Back and So Is Our Will to Live, Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Chris Evans Is Back and So Is Our Will to Live, Apparently

FinnDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Marvel Announces ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ – Because Apparently, Retirement Is Just a Suggestion, Not a Commitment 🚨 In a…

Ben Sasse Announces Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis, Confirms He’s Basically Already a Ghost
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ben Sasse Announces Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis, Confirms He’s Basically Already a Ghost

Big ElephantDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Ben Sasse, the Trump-critic-turned-University-of-Florida-flunky-turned-cancer-patient, has finally found a worthy opponent: his own pancreas. In a stunning turn of events, the…

Self-Care is a Joke and Your Soul Needs a Nap
Live

Self-Care is a Joke and Your Soul Needs a Nap

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Webinar Aims to Cure Existential Dread with 45 Minutes of “Wellness Tips” 🧘‍♂️✨ Join us on Feb 17, 2026…

Leeds Creative Labs: Where Your Ideas Go to Die (But Look Really Pretty Doing It)
Live

Leeds Creative Labs: Where Your Ideas Go to Die (But Look Really Pretty Doing It)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Leeds Creative Labs Announces New Residency Where Artists and Academics Can Stare at Each Other Confused for 6…

How to Turn Your ADHD Into a Six-Figure Consulting Scam (Without Actually Scamming Anyone)
Live

How to Turn Your ADHD Into a Six-Figure Consulting Scam (Without Actually Scamming Anyone)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Autistic People Actually Have Culture?! Yale Finally Notices in 2025 🚨 Join the Cultural Autism Studies at Yale…

Litríocht nua na hArdteiste Dordán: An tAifreann a Dúirt leis an gCúlú ar an gCultúr
Live

Litríocht nua na hArdteiste Dordán: An tAifreann a Dúirt leis an gCúlú ar an gCultúr

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 ACHTUNG! Zoom Zoom: An Dordán Literacy Challenge 🚨 Dé Céadaoin 07/01/2026, 19:00 – 20:00, Ceardlann Zoom eagraithe ag An…

No me ven. Soy invisible
Live

No me ven. Soy invisible

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 22, 2025

¡Apúntate al seminario más misterioso del planeta! 🫣 Brigitte Champetier te espera con una cuenta en Santander (porque obviamente los…

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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