Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Features

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! 📢Minecraft, that blocky masterpiece you either love or pretend to hate, is getting another update. Yes,…

Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER
Breaking, Music News

Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

So, at this weekend’s prestigious (lol) Download festival in the glamorous Leicestershire, United Kingdom, APOCALYPTICA’s main cello-strummer Perttu Kivilaakso, was…

LZZY HALE Boasts About Her Laziness: ‘Warm-Ups Are For Suckers’
Breaking, Games News

LZZY HALE Boasts About Her Laziness: ‘Warm-Ups Are For Suckers’

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

In a recent interview with Chaoszine (more like Chaos-SNOOZE-ine, amirite? 😂), HALESTORM’s Lzzy Hale, who apparently SOME people think is…

Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Single: ‘Hell Or Hollywood’ – More Like ‘Heck No, Hollywood’
Breaking

Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Single: ‘Hell Or Hollywood’ – More Like ‘Heck No, Hollywood’

Chord F. DiscordJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

🎤🎸💀Oh, sweet baby Jesus! BUTCHER BABIES’ founding screamer, the one and only Carla Harvey (who apparently moonlighted as a mortician…

BLESSTHEFALL Drops ‘Gallows’ After Seven Years, Proving They’re Still Alive (Barely)
Breaking, Music News

BLESSTHEFALL Drops ‘Gallows’ After Seven Years, Proving They’re Still Alive (Barely)

Chord F. DiscordJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever hole they’ve been hiding in for the past seven years! Arizona’s…

Sweden’s LIV SIN Announces New Album ‘Close Your Eyes’ (As If You Had a Choice)
Breaking, Music News

Sweden’s LIV SIN Announces New Album ‘Close Your Eyes’ (As If You Had a Choice)

Chord F. DiscordJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF METAL! 🤘 The titans of Swedish modern metal (allegedly), LIV SIN, have signed a WORLDWIDE 🌍…

Between The Buried And Me Drops New Album ‘The Blue Nowhere’ and a Single
Breaking, Music News

Between The Buried And Me Drops New Album ‘The Blue Nowhere’ and a Single

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Okay, so apparently, after a whole quarter of a century of making noise 🙉 and churning out ten albums that…

Lars Ulrich Dares to Turn Over Rocks (and Maybe Find a New Idea or Two with Metallica)
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Dares to Turn Over Rocks (and Maybe Find a New Idea or Two with Metallica)

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

So, Lars Ulrich, the intellectual powerhouse behind Metallica (allegedly), did another interview. This time with Variety, because, you know, they’re…

Ex-ICED EARTH Members (Who?) Drop New Single, Prepare for World to Continue Not Caring
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ICED EARTH Members (Who?) Drop New Single, Prepare for World to Continue Not Caring

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

ASHES OF ARES, the U.S. “heavy” metal duo featuring ex-ICED EARTH rejects Matt Barlow and Freddie Vidales, is gracing us…

Behold: BLACK FLAG’s New Lineup Stumbles Through Their First Live Gig
Breaking, Music News

Behold: BLACK FLAG’s New Lineup Stumbles Through Their First Live Gig

Chord F. DiscordJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

BLACK FLAG, the legendary punk band (or what’s left of it), graced the stage of Mixtape 5 in Sofia, Bulgaria,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 72 73 74 … 77 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.