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Tag: Holiday

Diesel Now Costs More Than Your Therapy Session
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Diesel Now Costs More Than Your Therapy Session

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and reading about diesel prices topping $6 a gallon for the first time…

Trump Showered Aides with Cash Gifts Because That’s Normal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Showered Aides with Cash Gifts Because That’s Normal

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about President Donald Trump giving out cash gifts to his White House aides,…

Border Shop Owner Stuck Between Two Countries And Hard Place
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Border Shop Owner Stuck Between Two Countries And Hard Place

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2026

As I sipped my morning coffee and read about the latest trade war drama between the US and Canada, I…

Trump Scrambles as Labor Day Gas Prices Hit Record Highs Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Scrambles as Labor Day Gas Prices Hit Record Highs Somehow

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. According to CNN, Americans are likely to face the highest Labor…

Canada gets Intel’s gaming handouts in 2026
Breaking, Games News

Canada gets Intel’s gaming handouts in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 21, 2026August 21, 2026

Intel Gamer Days is back, and it’s time to upgrade your gaming rig without breaking the bank. From August 28…

Nolan Wells Still Dead Investigation Plods Along
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nolan Wells Still Dead Investigation Plods Along

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Nolan Wells should have turned 19 surrounded by a birthday cake,…

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage

FinnAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Get ready for the (animated) Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Because what the world really needed was another iteration of a…

Kennedy Center pays big for Trumping up the lineup
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kennedy Center pays big for Trumping up the lineup

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Washington, DC, judge has ordered the Kennedy Center to pay…

Because You Clearly Need More Debt
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Because You Clearly Need More Debt

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Powerball jackpot, which has now reached an estimated $1 billion after…

Because What Hollywood Really Needs is 15 More Unwanted Sequels This Summer
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Really Needs is 15 More Unwanted Sequels This Summer

FinnAugust 10, 2026August 11, 2026

Summer may officially end on September 22, but in Hollywood, the summer movie season is already on its last legs…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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