Mike Portnoy Says Dream Theater Will Finally Remember How to Write Songs Again in Late 2026
Mike Portnoy, the drummer who left DREAM THEATER over a decade ago, has returned like a prodigal son who forgot…
Tag: Hours
Disney Gives OpenAI the Keys to Its Character Closet in a Billion-Dollar Handoff
Hold onto your mouse ears, folks — Disney just sold its soul to the AI devil for a measly $1…
GUNS N’ ROSES Finally Pick Opening Bands So They Can Look Good By Comparison
🚨 BREAKING: GUNS N’ ROSES 2026 TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT REVEALED 🚨: AXL ROSE TO UNITE THE NATIONS WITH A LINEUP THAT…
“Hold Onto Your Blocks: Minecraft’s New Barely-Controllable Pixel Beasts & MoJank’s Latest Recipe for Chaos!”
🐄 Hold onto your pickaxes, folks, because Minecraft just dropped its latest “content bomb”—Mounts of Mayhem™—and it’s precisely as chaotic…
EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel
In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except their entire fanbase, their label, and literally everyone with…
OCN NI Quality Assurance Training: Where Fun Goes to Be Audited
**Attention all wannabe quality gurus! 🎤✨ OCN NI is offering free Internal Quality Assurance Training—because apparently, someone decided paperwork should…
KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…
“Wasteman: Witness the Riveting Saga of a Dude Who Can’t Be Bothered to Take Out the Bins”
Hold onto your prison shivs and DOC-standard toilet wine, film fans! 🍷✨ The cinematic event of the decade* (*decade defined…
David Lowery’s ‘Mother Mary’ Trailer Drops, and We’re All Pretending to Be Excited
Oh honey, hold onto your wigs because the trailer for David Lowery’s “MOTHER MARY” just dropped, and it’s serving… something…
SNAP Benefits: Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems for the Chronically Broke (Again)
Oh, the horror! It seems the socialist gravy train is about to hit a Trump-sized wall. Our fearless leader, President…