Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: How To

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading the news when I came across this story about a fighter jet crashing…

Sony tunes out fan outcry on physical discs to push digital dreams
Breaking, Games News

Sony tunes out fan outcry on physical discs to push digital dreams

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

It’s been a wild ride since Sony decided to pull the plug on physical PlayStation discs in 2028, and I’m…

Nation’s Water Now As Secure As Your Aunt’s Facebook Account
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation’s Water Now As Secure As Your Aunt’s Facebook Account

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest cyberattack on US water systems, and I have to say,…

Trump admin tries to rebuild election security infrastructure it gutted as midoffs near
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump admin tries to rebuild election security infrastructure it gutted as midoffs near

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is trying to rebuild the federal system to…

Steven Sweet’s Health Issues Are Totally Fine Probably
Breaking, Music News

Steven Sweet’s Health Issues Are Totally Fine Probably

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2026August 1, 2026

I just spent the last hour reading about WARRANT drummer Steven Sweet’s health issues, and I’m still trying to process…

Alaska Plane Crash Blamed On Obvious Pilot Mistakes Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Alaska Plane Crash Blamed On Obvious Pilot Mistakes Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and folks, this one is a doozy. A pilot of…

Lawmaker’s Ex-Wife Seeks Restraining Order Because Apparently That’s Necessary Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmaker’s Ex-Wife Seeks Restraining Order Because Apparently That’s Necessary Now

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Rep. Max Miller’s latest escapades, and I’ve got to say, this guy’s…

Trump Declares Victory Over Hamas Without Their Input Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares Victory Over Hamas Without Their Input Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest announcement, and I have to say, it’s a…

Pubishers FORCE Football Oversaturation onto Your Phone
Breaking

Pubishers FORCE Football Oversaturation onto Your Phone

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Oh joy, another way for EA to suck the last bit of cash from our wallets, and we’re just too…

Trump’s Base Goes From Bad To Completely Awful Situation
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Base Goes From Bad To Completely Awful Situation

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like Republicans are getting a little worried about their…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 19 Next

Latest posts

  • Barbie Sequel In Limbo Due To Stalled Talent Talks
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Evers vows to resist FBI seizure of Milwaukee ballots
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mexico Struggles With Endemic Problems
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump claims energy triumph on social media platform
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Trump gets his name on Palm Beach airport

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}