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Trump Tries to Make Economy Great Again, but His Math Skills Might Not Cooperate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Tries to Make Economy Great Again, but His Math Skills Might Not Cooperate

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Breaking: Trump’s Economy is a Dumpster Fire Wrapped in a Stock Market Mirage The Cheeto-in-Chief jetted off to Iowa this…

“Government Shutdown: The Epic Saga of How We All Pretend to Care While the World Burns”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Government Shutdown: The Epic Saga of How We All Pretend to Care While the World Burns”

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Washington is once again staring down the barrel of a government shutdown—and this time, it’s the Democrats’ fault. With Senate…

Events

DOM DOLLA – San Jose Street Party or How to Turn Your Neighborhood Into a Club Without a Permit

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

🚨🚨 SOLD OUT, BUT KEEP DREAMING, LOSERS! 🚨🚨 JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE: https://domdolla.lnk.to/SanJoseWaitlist (because hope is free) FOR RESELL +…

“Local Heroes or Just Overworked? The Comedy of Caring for the Chronically Complicated”
Events

“Local Heroes or Just Overworked? The Comedy of Caring for the Chronically Complicated”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

⚠️ Warning: This webinar might actually make you want to get sick just to experience “effective neighbourhood health approaches.” Attention,…

Gran Turismo 7 Finally Adds a Phone Charger to Its Garage in New Update
Breaking, Games News

Gran Turismo 7 Finally Adds a Phone Charger to Its Garage in New Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Xiaomi’s SU7 Ultra Blasts Into Gran Turismo 7: Now You Can Race a Real Car Without Ever Leaving Your Couch…

BREAKING: Overcaffeinated Cops Mistake Pretti for Pinata in Lead-Filled “Encounter,” DHS Shrugs “Just a Starter Report”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BREAKING: Overcaffeinated Cops Mistake Pretti for Pinata in Lead-Filled “Encounter,” DHS Shrugs “Just a Starter Report”

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Oh look, another day in Biden’s America—oh wait, it’s 2025, and President Trump’s MAGA miracle is STILL cleaning up the…

I almost died laughing when even the cameraman lost sight of him 😭
Videos

I almost died laughing when even the cameraman lost sight of him 😭

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

I always wondered what happens if you get stuck and can't find the way out, do they send someone to…

Valve’s 30% Steam Tax Racket Gets Epic UK Roasting in Class Action Clown Show
Breaking, Games News

Valve’s 30% Steam Tax Racket Gets Epic UK Roasting in Class Action Clown Show

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your wallets, gamers! 🤯 Valve, the beloved overlords of Steam (aka that place where your paycheck goes to…

“Marvel Cashes In Again: [Hero Name] Stumbles Back in ‘Born Again’ Season 2.9 – Now With 10% More Corporate Desperation”
Breaking, Movie News

“Marvel Cashes In Again: [Hero Name] Stumbles Back in ‘Born Again’ Season 2.9 – Now With 10% More Corporate Desperation”

FinnJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Holy superhero necromancy, Batman! 🦇 Marvel’s back at it again, digging up corpses from the Netflix graveyard to slap a…

Xbox’s Great Cloud Catastrophe: Now You Too Can Beta-Test Their Glitchy ‘Magic’ For Free!
Breaking, Games News

Xbox’s Great Cloud Catastrophe: Now You Too Can Beta-Test Their Glitchy ‘Magic’ For Free!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your controllers, folks! 🎮 Microsoft has graciously bestowed upon us peasants a “new” web experience for Xbox Cloud…

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Latest posts

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  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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