GUNS N’ ROSES Finally Pick Opening Bands So They Can Look Good By Comparison
đ¨ BREAKING: GUNS Nâ ROSES 2026 TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT REVEALED đ¨: AXL ROSE TO UNITE THE NATIONS WITH A LINEUP THAT…
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Taylor Swift Struggles to Pick Her Own Best Songs Because Apparently Even She Canât Keep Up With Her Own Bops
Taylor Swift, in a stunning display of humility (and perhaps a severe case of amnesia), recently appeared on Stephen Colbertâs…
ICE Has a Bad Day as Judge Declares âFree the Abregoâ and Custody Canât Hold Him Any Longer
In a stunning act of judicial overreach that could only come from an Obama-appointed activist judge, a federal court in…
Protesters crash DHS Secretary Noemâs testimony like she was hosting a family reunion they werenât invited to
In a stunning turn of events that has everyone in the locker room scratching their heads, University of Michigan’s head…
“Hold Onto Your Blocks: Minecraft’s New Barely-Controllable Pixel Beasts & MoJankâs Latest Recipe for Chaos!”
đ Hold onto your pickaxes, folks, because Minecraft just dropped its latest “content bomb”âMounts of Mayhemâ˘âand itâs precisely as chaotic…
Jennifer Lawrence Agrees to Return to Hunger Games Reboot Because Apparently Her Bank Account Is Feeling Hungry Too
In a shocking twist that NO ONE saw coming (except everyone with eyes, ears, and a passing familiarity with Hollywoodâs…
EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel
In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except their entire fanbase, their label, and literally everyone with…
Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry (and probably a few existential crises through the animatronic…
HHS & CMS Host an Online Happy Hour and J29 Is Paying for It
đ¨ BREAKING: Government Bureaucrats Finally Discover Alcohol in Historic Virtual Summit đťđť In an unprecedented move that’s shocking absolutely no…
Chicago’s Drunkest Holiday Parade where 12 bars become one giant eggnog nightmare
đ¨ LAST CHANCE TO PRE-DRINK FOR YOURSELF, LOSER! đť Your wristband awaits at Murphy’s Bleachers (aka Wrigleyville’s most overpriced gift…