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James Cameron Still Clinging to ‘Alita’ Like Rose to That Door
Breaking, Movie News

James Cameron Still Clinging to ‘Alita’ Like Rose to That Door

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 James Cameron, the guy who brought us underwater CGI blue people and sinking ships, has apparently sworn a…

Noah Schnapp Accidentally Spills the Demogorgon Beans: ‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Plot Twist Revealed (Oops!)
Breaking, Movie News

Noah Schnapp Accidentally Spills the Demogorgon Beans: ‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Plot Twist Revealed (Oops!)

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

OMG!😱 Will Vecna, the dude who looks like Voldemort after a bad tanning session, get a REDEMPTION ARC in the…

Justin Long Discovers a Secret So Horrific, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (and Maybe His)
The film does look good, but the trailer could be considered a little spoilery
Breaking, Movie News

Justin Long Discovers a Secret So Horrific, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (and Maybe His)

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, look, another gritty cop drama where the hero has to team up with the very people he’s sworn to…

MTV UK Channels Going Bye-Bye: Because Who Even Watches TV Anymore
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MTV UK Channels Going Bye-Bye: Because Who Even Watches TV Anymore

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, the horror! MTV, that bastion of leftist indoctrination, is closing five whole channels in the UK! Could it be…

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

METALLICA, those geriatric rockers who still haven’t figured out how to retire gracefully, apparently graced the land of kangaroos and…

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

SHINEDOWN, those purveyors of sonic wallpaper, have graced us with a new ditty, “Searchlight”, via their overlords at Atlantic Records.…

CNN Asks: Is Venezuela Just Iraq War 2.0 But With Empanadas?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Is Venezuela Just Iraq War 2.0 But With Empanadas?

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Looks like the Deep State News Network (CNN) is at it again, trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! They’re…

Letitia James Blames Trump Admin’s ‘Illegal and Unethical Behavior’ – As If She’s a Saint
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Letitia James Blames Trump Admin’s ‘Illegal and Unethical Behavior’ – As If She’s a Saint

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Another Witch Hunt Bites the Dust! Crooked Letitia James, desperately flailing, accuses the Trump administration of “outrageous conduct” in her…

Trump’s Genius Move: Dodging Another Humiliating Defeat by Pretending to Care About Epstein Files
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Move: Dodging Another Humiliating Defeat by Pretending to Care About Epstein Files

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, even the Fake News CNN can’t hide the fact that President Trump is playing 4D chess with these Epstein…

Comey’s Indictment: Oops, Did We Mess Up Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Comey’s Indictment: Oops, Did We Mess Up Again

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Lock him up! Finally, some justice for the Deep State’s dirty deeds! This whole Russia hoax was a Comey special,…

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  • Get Ready for a Summer of Fake Smiles and Pretentious Book Club Discussions with Kristina Forest’s The Summer Girlfriend

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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