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“Thanks, Obama! Why Your Healthcare Costs Are Now Higher Than Your Rent”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Thanks, Obama! Why Your Healthcare Costs Are Now Higher Than Your Rent”

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is *shocked* that Obamacare is a disaster! Who could have possibly foreseen that a government takeover of…

Now You See Me: Now You Don’t – Prepare to be Underwhelmed
Breaking, Movie News

Now You See Me: Now You Don’t – Prepare to be Underwhelmed

FinnNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh great, another “Now You See Me” movie. 🙄 Because we DEFINITELY needed more of these cinematic masterpieces. Jesse Eisenberg…

Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026
Live, Music News

Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Download Festival is back in 2026 as DLXXIII, because apparently, we’re all still alive and kicking… or at…

SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’
Breaking, Music News

SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

In a groundbreaking revelation that will surely send shockwaves through the metal community (or maybe just a mild tremor), former…

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another socialist bites the dust! George Banks, a mass murderer who probably voted Democrat, finally kicked the bucket…

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, no! Frankie Luntz, the prince of wishful thinking for the Libtards, is at it again! He’s predicting a “bad…

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act
Elephant Reads CNN

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another deep state conspiracy thwarted by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s about the pardon of crypto…

Dragon Quest’s Yuji Horii Gets a Pat on the Back From Japan (Finally!)
Breaking, Games News

Dragon Quest’s Yuji Horii Gets a Pat on the Back From Japan (Finally!)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

So, like, this Yuji Horii dude? 👴 Apparently, he’s the FIRST EVER game designer in Japan 🇯🇵 to get some…

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment
Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is wetting its pants over AI in the UAE! More globalist garbage! Microsoft, Google, and NVIDIA –…

DORO’s Florida Kegger: ‘Warriors Of The Sea’ Album Launch—BYOB and Bring Your Own Inflatable Swordfish
Breaking, Music News

DORO’s Florida Kegger: ‘Warriors Of The Sea’ Album Launch—BYOB and Bring Your Own Inflatable Swordfish

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Ahoy, metalheads! 🤘 Get ready to drain your bank accounts for the one and only DORO PESCH! 👸 On November…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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