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North Carolina Senate bravely gerrymanders its way to more Republican seats, democracy cries in the corner
Elephant Reads CNN

North Carolina Senate bravely gerrymanders its way to more Republican seats, democracy cries in the corner

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

North Carolina Republicans are doing their part to MAGA! The state Senate approved a new congressional map to help secure…

Oh, No, Not Again: J.D. Vance Butts Into Israel, Because Peace Was Just *Too* Boring
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, No, Not Again: J.D. Vance Butts Into Israel, Because Peace Was Just *Too* Boring

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Oh, CNN is clutching their pearls again! Apparently, they’re “concerned” that the ceasefire in Israel, brokered by our glorious President…

Iron Maiden’s Adrian Smith Says Replacing Nicko McBrain with a Drum Machine Would Still Be More Human Than Simon Dawson
Breaking, Music News

Iron Maiden’s Adrian Smith Says Replacing Nicko McBrain with a Drum Machine Would Still Be More Human Than Simon Dawson

Chord F. DiscordOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Adrian Smith, axe-wielder of IRON MAIDEN (or as I like to call them, Iron Mediocre), recently yapped to some German…

Pilot Throws Tantrum After Forgetting Flight Attendants Exist, Hears Imaginary Cockpit Gremlins
Elephant Reads CNN

Pilot Throws Tantrum After Forgetting Flight Attendants Exist, Hears Imaginary Cockpit Gremlins

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Another airline incident! You just know some radical leftist was trying to storm the cockpit,…

Adam Driver’s Genius Star Wars Pitch: Disney Said “Nah”
Breaking, Movie News

Adam Driver’s Genius Star Wars Pitch: Disney Said “Nah”

FinnOctober 21, 2025October 25, 2025

Wow, Adam Driver, bless his heart, actually thought Disney would let him make a whole Star Wars film about Kylo…

From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell
Elephant Reads CNN

From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice! A Utah judge has finally thrown the book at Nicholas Rossi, a man who…

Analysis: Government Shutdown Crisis: A Comedy of Errors in Zero Acts
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Government Shutdown Crisis: A Comedy of Errors in Zero Acts

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! The radical Democrats, in cahoots with the Deep State, are at it again, trying to undermine our…

From American Dream to ‘Meh-rica’: How Trump’s Visa Drama Sent Students Running for the Border (and Other Countries)
Elephant Reads CNN

From American Dream to ‘Meh-rica’: How Trump’s Visa Drama Sent Students Running for the Border (and Other Countries)

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems that fewer Indian students are flocking to our glorious American universities, all thanks to President…

Wall Street’s Spooky Season: More Like Spooked-y Then Gone-y
Elephant Reads CNN

Wall Street’s Spooky Season: More Like Spooked-y Then Gone-y

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Oh, Wall Street’s having a little boo-boo? How precious. The snowflakes on Wall Street finally got spooked by something other…

Biden Nukes Cancer with Rays, Still Kicking Strong
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Nukes Cancer with Rays, Still Kicking Strong

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Old Joe’s Still Kicking…Probably Just to Further the Socialist Agenda! The failing CNN reports that Prostate Joe, I mean, Biden,…

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Latest posts

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  • Nolan Wells Investigation Sparks Creative Witness Intimidation Techniques Apparently

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