VIO-LENCE Is Covering Punk So They Can Procrastinate Writing Real Songs—Killian Says He’s Not In A Hurry To Be Relevant
🎸🔥 In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with an internet connection), VIO-LENCE…
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GOP Sen. Mullin Claims ICE Shooting Was Just a Misunderstanding—Says ‘Everyone Was Just Really Nervous’
Democrats and Fake News Cry Havoc Over ICE Shooting While Ignoring Real Border Crisis In a stunning display of hypocrisy…
The US is taking over Venezuela and eyeing Greenland like a real estate flip show — and somehow the Dow is still dreaming of 50k
Dow Hits 50K Amid Chaos: Trump’s Venezuela Victory, Greenland Threat & Ice Moms Spark Stock Market Orgy In a stunning…
Suspect nabbed after torching Jackson’s last synagogue—only 60 years after the KKK lost their monopoly on bad PR
Leftist Arsonists Strike Again: Mississippi Synagogue Burns in Latest Attack on Religious Freedom Another day, another act of domestic terrorism…
NAPALM DEATH Is Recording Demos For Band’s Seventeenth Studio Album (And The Sound Of Your Soul Screaming Is Inspiration)
🚨 BREAKING: NAPALM DEATH ENTERS STUDIO TO RECORD ALBUM #17, WORLD STILL NOT READY FOR THE AURAL ASSAULT 🚨 💥…
Anti‑ICE activists take to the streets nationwide to protest the tragic death of a woman in Minneapolis at the hands of an agent
Leftists Throw Tantrum Over ICE Shooting, Demand America Open Borders Because One Bad Guy Died Another day, another massive leftist…
Nintendo Switch 2: Our 2026 Wishlist of Hopes, Dreams, and Mildly Unreasonable Demands
Behold, the Nintendo Switch 2 has been alive for a whole six months — a milestone so grand, we’re practically…
Lily Zhang Shatters Patriarchy, Tops MLTT Rankings in Historic Plot Twist
Leftist Hollywood’s Latest Masterpiece: Timothée Chalamet’s Table Tennis Propaganda Film Promotes ‘Woke’ Ping Pong Over Traditional American Sports In a…
2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)
🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood’s Most Prestigious Night of Questionable Decisions Approaches 🚨 😱🎬 Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who just wants to…
SNOT Finally Got a New Singer ANDY KNAPP and Spat Out Five Songs—Album Info Will Probably Drop When Hell Freezes Over
🚨 BREAKING: SNOT COMPLETES FIVE NEW SONGS, REVOLUTIONIZES HEAVY METAL (OR AT LEAST THEIR GARAGE) 🚨 🤘🎸 In a shocking…